Slime Time: A Culture Kills Comic

You can always tell when the crew at Strip Generator put a new character into the mix eh?

Come on, it was time for a Goonies joke.

Tags: strip generator, slime, ky jelly, goonies, the blob, dragon quest, truffle shuffle

They Gave Steve-O another show?!?

It is official: professional clown Steve-O of Jackass fame has another show. I have never seen the original show, but I did watch the two Jackass movies, and I've seen his rather raucous interviews, so it is clear that he is a madman and it is amazing what opportunities you find when you are willing to endure horrific pain and humiliation on camera. Of course, it is much more fun dishing it out.

And it is that dishing it out part which seems to make up the majority of the running time of Dr. Steve-O, which is a reality show where, he sets out to dewussify nerds, geeks and dorks in his own, special way. It is sort of like Extreme Makeover or What Not To Wear... if they were hosted by a madman. Of course, I have a feeling that the friends that asked Dr. Steve-O for help are probably going to be getting a swift kick to the groin after the treatment, but that is another story... one that isn't filmed for American consumption.

So, Steve-O travels the country in an ambulance with his nurse, reality star Trishelle, so it is like two reality show heavyweights bringing their considerable talents as performers to the mix, and as a lot of reality shows ask their participants to face their fears on camera, in that respect, they are more than qualified to be hosts.

As a concept, it is just so stupid, and yet like most of the stunts that Steve-O has been involved with, somehow they end up being entertaining. I don't expect anything different this time around, though as a Canadian, I have a feeling that I will be waiting a while to fully experience this show.

Tags: dr. steve-o, reality show, trishelle, what not to wear, extreme makeover, dewussify, jackass, ambulance, nerd, geek

Music Videos I wish were full length movies

I was recently thinking about some of the music videos that I really liked the narrative element to, and I thought, why not make a list.

Now these videos aren't on a movie's soundtrack and aren't being used as part of the marketing campaign. I also couldn't include any of the Daft Punk videos from their Discovery album because they were all put together to make a movie.

Now I could embed all these videos, but I think at this point having a blog that loads in less than 3 minutes may be preferable at this time.

Pulp - This is Hardcore. For a song about pornography, the video has completely different overtones rooted in 1930's-60's Hollywood glamor. It is very L.A. Confidential. The video is so good that I would like to watch both the movie being made and the behind the scenes-type film.

The Decemberists - Sixteen Military Wives: A song about a certain military debacle turned into a Wes Anderson movie. Even divorced from the song that supports it, the video stands strong as a narrative, and that's why it is on this list.

Belle and Sebastian - I'm a Cuckoo: A narrative about a training long distance runner caught in the midst of a romantic comedy in Glasgow.

Madvillain - All Caps: I like the samples I admit it, but it was the old school comic look of this short video that makes me want to see more. Of course, having the story end on a Stan Lee/Batman note is always a positive.

Yo La Tengo - Sugar Cube: In all honesty, I thought School of Rock was going to be based on the concept of this video. The principals of Mr. Show makes this video what it is.

So, are their any videos you wish were full length movies?

Tags: yo la tengo, madvillain, sugar cube, all caps, pulp, this is hardcore, decemberists, sixteen military wives, daft punk, discovery, belle and sebastian, i'm a cuckoo

I Almost got into Beauty and the Geek

I was very tempted to watch the whole premiere of the fourth season of Beauty and the Geek last night after I found out that like nearly all reality shows heading into their 4th season or later, there was a special twist.

This time around the twist was that one of the geeks was a cute gal with a male "beauty" partner. That was intriguing to me, because the television world needs more geek girls. I have to say that Beauty and the Geek was always one of those shows that I was aware of, but it had never ever been on my plate as a viewing option, and that was almost enough get me to fully engage with the show... almost.

Now, don't get me wrong: I love femigeekiness in all its forms, and I did flip on the show quite a few times to check out the action and the female on female-geek hatred, but in the end, even the allure of a geek chic woman wasn't enough to draw me into the show I am sad to say. So once again, I am going to going to be on the sidelines as people talk about this show throughout the blogosphere, though if I read that Nicole is doing well, perhaps I will have a little smile.

Tags: beauty and the geek, the cw, geek girl, ugly betty, twist, reality shows, femigeekiness

Hey! Nielsen is in Public Beta

Last week, I was invited to participate in the final stages of the closed beta of Hey! Nielsen, a new social media site from the fine folks who made their name in determining television ratings and now the site is open to the public and I feel am now free to talk about the site.

I am sure most of you have been to sites that on the surface resemble Hey! Nielsen, as it is a network site that is predicated on users writing their opinions on television shows, movies, music, websites and personalities(I myself enjoy this last category as it catches a lot of comedians as well).

You can also agree or disagree with someone else's opinion. For example, let's say you read a negative opinion of Heroes, and while the opinion did make some good points, you still disagree with the general premise of their opinion. You can then assign a rating to their opinion for -5 for strongly disagree through +5 for strongly agree... or any rating in between, including a neutral 0 rating as well.

Personally, I'm sort of laughing about some of the reactions I've been getting about my opinion of Sarah Silverman. I stated that while I like her work, her comedy isn't for everyone, and a few people are disagreeing vehemently with that opinion. It is very strange. Of course, my write-up of Jon Stewart was very well received. At the moment it seems to be a Supernatural and Jericho lovefest, but I have a feeling as more people join the site, everything will start balancing out.

The service also seems to be allaying some of my angst regarding writing reviews of new series I am currently enjoying, since it is Nielsen and perhaps my opinion, along with countless others might help keep a few more of them on until they find a larger audience. Hey it could happen, couldn't it? So I may feel a little freer in expressing my opinions about new series at Culture Kills once again.

I've also put one of the site's widgets on the blog running a list of my opinions/reactions if anyone is interested in taking a gander, though my titles are pretty self-explanatory. And if you happen to join, drop me a line... my username is writinguy.

Tags: hey nielsen, jon stewart, sarah silverman, heroes, television, movies, celebrity, a.c. nielsen, supernatural, jericho

Stuff floating around my mind

• How is Britney Spears getting a summons from an accident in August news? Really... getting tired of hearing about her now. Well, I've been sick of hearing about her for quite a few months now. So I am shutting up about her again and trying to get back on the horse when it comes to my blogging resolutions this year.


• I was flipping through an old issue of Rolling Stone listing the 500 top singles of all time and in the back, there was a list of people who were contributed to the list. Most of the people were musicians, but those who weren't usually had a second line listing who they were and thus explaining why their opinion mattered. Of course, a few of the musicians involved like a few members of The Donnas also had such a subtitle. Now, I thought it was funny that the editors of the magazine thought that both Jakob Dylan and James Hetfield needed such captions as well. I guess that is their subtle way of saying that those two artists were past their culturally relevant prime.


• Demi Moore finally took Ashton Kutcher's last name. Well, on everything but movie bylines, because she feels the last name she picked up from her first marriage is a lot more valuable than the name she has on her passport, driver's license and credit cards.


• If I didn't listen to the podcast at the BBPS today, I would have never heard the term Unicorn Rape. I think I could have gone the rest of my life not thinking of that. That Second Life is a weird, David Lynchian place.
  

Tags: ashton kutcher, britney spears, unicorn rape, second life, david lynch, bbps, demi moore, metallica, jakob dylan, wallflowers, the donnas, james hetfield

A PSA from the Asian Community: A Culture Kills Comic

Will I get utterly slaughtered for this one... only time will tell.

Tags: culture kills comic, strip generator, asians, stereotypes, politically correct

Week 19: Pageant of the Transmundane

I had a winner all picked out for this week, and half the write-up for the award... and then a late entry came in and stole the prize. Literally, a blog entry put up less than 4 hours ago has pulled off an upset.

This week's winner hails from the friendly shores of Ill Doctrine, after Jay Smooth asked the question: What if Bill O'Reilly was a rapper? It attacks someone I despise and it isn't a bad song, so it is a nice twofer.

And to reflect the fact that a loud mouth talk show host was the subject of this week's winner's work, I thought it would be more than appropriate to find a file photo of when Homer Simpson had a short lived current affairs show on television. What more fitting way to celebrate the Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award this week.



Congratulations Jay Smooth. We may not be NPR, but acclaim is acclaim, isn't it?



The rules of this little contest: Every week I will be selecting one blog post that I have seen from the vast reaches of the blogosphere to bestow with the Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award for being one of the freakiest(in a funny way) things I've seen or read during a 7 day period. It doesn't necessarily have to have been written during the week, I just had to have encountered it. That means that if you find something interesting and repost it like a movie or whatever, if I saw it at your blog first, you get the prize. Of course, creating your own content is also a very good way to win.

Now, if you see a post that you think is worthy of this illustrious prize, just drop me a line at campybeaver@gmail.com and we'll see if we can't get your suggestion up and award-ready while giving you some credit and a link to your own blog.

Tags: homer simpson, pageant of the transmundane, ill doctrine, upset, bill o'reilly, jay smooth, talk show, rapper, hip hop

Anna Faris: Dramatic Actress?

There are times when you hear about a certain performer taking a role based on the life of a real person, you can't imagine them being able to pull it off. I mean, I certainly scoffed at the idea that Willa Ford was going to play Anna Nicole Smith, because both halves of that sentence are just ridiculous.

And let's face it, a lot of actors take on such roles when they don't have the talent or experience to carry them. I'm looking at you Jennifer Love Hewitt for trying to play Audrey Hepburn (who thought that would be a good idea).

But today I was pleasantly surprised to hear that Anna Faris has signed up to star in a biopic about the life of Linda Lovelace/Boreman, a role which is drastically different than the comedic fare she has made a career out of, but I think she is fully capable of pulling it off.



She plays a lot of "dumb blonde" type characters in her comedic work, and her part in Lost in Translation was in essence a caricature of a lot of her peers, but when you read her more serious interviews, she is a woman who is surprisingly full of substance, wit and intelligence, and I would like to see her really stretch her legs playing a heavy, dramatic role. I think it is time for her to truly spread her wings as an actress and show the world that yes, she is capable of anchoring a movie that has a little more meat to it (no pun intended).

I think this is the right move for her. Scary Movie shouldn't be the pinnacle of her career. After all, there was a time when Tom Hanks pretty much only did screwball comedies, and then he did Philadelphia and the rest if Oscar history.

Tags: anna faris, linda lovelace, biopic, scary movie, may, lost in translation, jennifer love hewitt, audrey hepburn, philadelphia, oscar, willa ford, anna nicole smith

Simpsons + Star Wars = Awesomeness

Via CollegeHumor

Need I say more?

Tags: star wars, simpsons, mashup, college humor, opening

The James Bond movie I wanted in 1999

I was going through some of my old emails, and I found something that I had almost totally forgotten about.

You see, after The World is Not Enough came out, I had some ideas about where I wanted the next movie in the James Bond franchise to go. I came up with a synopsis of the kind of movie I wanted to see before I had heard any of the casting or plot of Die Another Day.

Brosnan's James Bond would face off against a villain played by Kevin Spacey. In my mind, Spacey would have played an ambitious though slightly nerdish founder and CEO of a computer software company that was nearly ubiquitous because of some shady dealings and a near monopoly on a specific kind of software.

Spacey's character was super rich, one of the wealthiest men in the world, but he wanted more. So he planned on using weaponized satellites created covertly by the United States, the United Kingdom, Russia and China that he could seize control of because his software ran on each of those systems, to try to quickly melt the polar ice caps and destroy a quite a few of the major financial centers of the Western World to make a fortune from the disaster as he would have invested his vast fortunes in the market and sold short the shares of countless companies and then using those profits, buying those same companies and as a result, he would become so powerful that no government could stop him.

He would in essence rule the world.

Of course, Bond would stop him with the help of a CIA-trained female hacker, resulting in Spacey's hideout/lair being destroyed after the satellite coordinates are altered from the ice caps to the command centre where those orders originated from. Bond, being the trickster he is, would naturally escape with the girl and get caught by Q at some inopportune time, giving the movie a laugh at the end.

Looking back on it now, I sort of predicted the following:

The use of space-based lasers to melt ice in Die Another Day
The idea that a group would use disasters that they planned to make money on the stock market in Casino Royale
Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor and the film-within-a-film version of Dr. Evil.

And while I think Daniel Craig is stellar as Bond, I still think my Bond film idea would have been kickass. At least it couldn't have been worse than Die Another Day.

Tags: kevin spacey, pierce brosnan, casino royale, world is not enough, dr. evil, microsoft, hacker, ice caps, laser, cia, die another die, lex luthor, superman, weaponized satellites, ian fleming

The rest of 2007 is a No-Tour zone for the White Stripes

Last week, The White Stripes canceled their North American tour schedule, and today it was announced that their UK/European tour dates starting in October have also been canceled.

The reason that has been given is that Meg White is suffering from acute anxiety and cannot travel at this time. There are some accounts which say that she has acute anxiety about air travel at the moment.

Now, of all the reasons that celebrities have given for breaking commitments, this is one I can fully sympathize with. Anxiety disorders have a funny way of sneaking up on people and manifesting themselves in a variety of odd ways.

I've had some anxiety issues myself over the past decade and I know how crippling they can be, and it seems like Ms. White may be approaching the issue in a healthy way by not forcing herself into a potentially bad situation. I am sure that over the coming months she will slowly be able to find a way to deal with her disorder.

I wish Meg White a speedy recovery.

Tags: white stripes, meg white, jack white, anxiety, airplanes, touring, travel, mental illness, tour dates, detroit

Now that's a lot of traffic!

I had to replace my modem today and when I finally got back online, I discovered something wonderful!

My recent article on Jodie Foster badmouthing Sin City had made its way to the front page of the IMDB.

Now, I've had some good days in terms of traffic, but I've never had a day like this before. I haven't even had a month like this before. It looks I have a shot of reaching at least ten thousand hits today. When I first saw the stats, I nearly fell out of my chair.

I am shocked and awed by it all and I'd like to thank everyone who has read my little blog today. I appreciate it.

Oh, and I'd also like to say Happy Birthday to Karl of Secondhand Tryptophan. Hope your return to radio goes well, but with Hilly by your virtual side, I think it is going to go very well.

Tags: imdb, jodie foster, secondhand trytophan, sin city, snackie's world, traffic, blogging

Prison Break Season 3 is looking good

Prison Break has always the television equivalent of a popcorn movie. You know there is plot holes and things that sometimes don't make sense, but the story is told at such a rapid pace and so much is going on that you just find yourself going along for the ride. Masterpiece Theatre is most certainly isn't, but even with its flaws, I still find it royally entertaining and unlike The O.C., it has managed to keep my interest coming into its third season.

If you have Tivo'd the season premiere or you are waiting to watch the second season on DVD, I think this is a good post to skip as I will be discussing some of the plot points that got us all to moment in time.

At the close of last season Michael Scofield, the mastermind behind a daring escape from Fox River penitentiary, found himself captured in Panama and thrown inside a rather sinister institution called Sona. Along with Scofield, we also discover that Agent Mahone, the corrupt and drug-addicted FBI agent who had pursued the convicts throughout the season, and former Fox River guard turned bounty hunter Brad Bellick have also found themselves incarcerated at that very same prison. Meanwhile, Michael's brother, Lincoln Burrows, found himself a free man after his convictions for crimes he didn't commit were overturned when new evidence came to light, so in a stunning reverse of the beginning of the series, Michael is now in jail and it is up to Lincoln to get him out.

As the season opens, we get a far better taste of how bad Sona is, as the above character watch from within a crowd a fight to the death in the open courtyard of the prison in the middle of a rain-soaked night. The following day, the body of the loser still sits in the center of the courtyard, a signal that this place is light years away from the rigid discipline of the American justice system. It is later revealed that those in Sona are the worst of the worst, and that the year before Scofield had arrived, the prisoners had rioted so badly that the guards pulled out to the perimeter of the facility, allowing the prisoners to fill the power vacuum from within and establish its own disciplinary system under a single leader.

Of course, Scofield's notoriety makes him a potential rival for said leadership, so it becomes clear that Sona will likely not be kind to him. Through some twists, it becomes clear that once again he is going to have to use his talents to escape from the facility, which will be a much tougher task seeing as he hasn't had an opportunity to prepare for this particular challenge, so it will be interesting to see how he improvises.

There are still so many unanswered questions, and knowing Prison Break, I have a feeling that those answers are going to be unexpected. I am looking forward to seeing where this season is going to end up.

Tags: prison break, fox, michael scofield, season 3, panama, sona, lincoln burrows, the o.c., masterpiece theatre, mahone, wentworth miller, william fichtner, brad bellick

Sunday Night Video: Big Train

This is a very surreal clip from the 1999 British sketch comedy series Big Train. I am not going to tell you what it is about because to do so would wreck some of the humor.

I will however mention that Simon Pegg, star of Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz and Spaced appears in the clip.

Tags: big train, simon pegg, british, sketch comedy

Death to LOLCats: A Culture Kills Comic

Perhaps someday I'll be talented enough with Illustrator to put together my own comic... until then, I will continue using StripGenerator.

Tags: stripgenerator, culture kills comic, lolcats, gunplay

Week 18: Pageant of the Transmundane

Hello from the dewy fields at the 100th Meridian. Somewhere Ry Cooder is singing my eulogy, but that is another story.

This week's winner is from The Best & Greatest Commercials Ever Made, a blog site whose title is pretty self-explanatory.

A few days ago, a certain ad for Wilkinson Sword razors was posted, and it is one of the best spots I've seen this year, though it goes far beyond the standard 30-60 second boundaries and becomes a mini-narrative in and of itself. The ad is called Fight for Kisses, and I have a feeling that it will soon be popular on those funniest ad shows that pop-up annually.

And because this week's award has to do with an ad for razors, it seemed fitting to award this week's Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award with one of the rarest sights of all: a clean shaven Homer.



Congratulations and to the winner goes the spoils and a nice little image badge for your site.




The rules of this little contest: Every week I will be selecting one blog post that I have seen from the vast reaches of the blogosphere to bestow with the Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award for being one of the freakiest(in a funny way) things I've seen or read during a 7 day period. It doesn't necessarily have to have been written during the week, I just had to have encountered it. That means that if you find something interesting and repost it like a movie or whatever, if I saw it at your blog first, you get the prize. Of course, creating your own content is also a very good way to win.

Now, if you see a post that you think is worthy of this illustrious prize, just drop me a line at campybeaver@gmail.com and we'll see if we can't get your suggestion up and award-ready while giving you some credit and a link to your own blog.

Tags: pageant of the transmundane, homer simpson, wilkinson sword, fight for kisses, computer animation, advertising, greatest commercials ever made, hundredth meridian, ry cooder, blog, quattro, titanium

I was an Online Female Impersonator

This is a blogging post I did a while ago in another venue, and I thought since it was a rainy Friday afternoon where I live, I thought I would revisit it.

--

When I first started using the internet back in my freshman year of college, I used to chat at this telnet site called Hotel. That was back in 1995 through 1997, so that was before most of the major instant messenger programs/services got off the ground. For the first 5 or 6 months of chatting, I was largely myself (because online we are all a little different than we are in real life) but part of the allure of the internet has always been the anonymity, and I thought it would be an interesting experiment to see things from a different perspective. There were many routes I could have taken, but in the end I decided I was going to see what it was like to be a woman online.

Part of it was arrogance, I admit. I wanted to know if I was a good enough writer to pull it off, and another part was simple curiosity. So it was that I assumed another identity and I became Marissa.

Now Marissa was an ordinary girl with sort of mundane roots. She was my age at the time, had an older brother and a younger sister, and worked at her parent's gas bar out in a hamlet outside of the town I lived in. I tried to avoid all the mistakes a lot of men trying to play women online make, and because in general, I was a good listener the previous six months, I had picked up a few things about how conversations flowed in that environment. Nothing was too over the top or extreme. She also had a boyfriend, a "fact" I thought I would be able to use if I got into too much trouble in the role and avoid some of the potential complications of someone becoming too enamored with my character. The thought I had in my head as I began was to try to maintain the "Person first, woman second" ethic, so I thought I was ready, but in retrospect, I was likely mistaken.

Within 5 minutes as Marissa at Hotel, someone had asked me about my bust size, which got the equivalent of a slap in the face from me, and I thought it must be a fluke, because I never acted like that in chat, and as a guy, well, no one would really ask me a question like that--but then it happened again, and from someone I knew as my real personality. It was like I was seeing their true colors for the first time. But I kept going with the experiment, because Marissa was becoming a more refined character, which made her a bit more interesting to play. Yes, there was still some harassment(if a received even a fraction of the inappropriate questions that a lot of real women received online, I am shocked women actually participated in chat at all). Now, I am not talking about a little flirting here, I am talking about full-on sexual advances, and I don't think I was putting out those vibes at all! I didn't bring up sex at all... I mean, I was talking about music with a group of people there, and some guy just whispered asking if I wanted to have a little bit of "private fun" with him. I politely declined... but still, I was left very uncomfortable.

I remember one time I was just chatting with some guy and everything was pleasant...

...and then he took off my shirt.

He hadn't even asked me if I wanted to cyber or anything. Absolutely no warning. And this was after I had played the BF card! It just happened. It was at that point I knew my little experiment should end. I went back to being myself full-time there, but after that my vision was colored by my experiences as Marissa, I knew there was all this other stuff going on under the surface and when I met the people who had out-and-out propositioned my feminine alter-ego, well, I had a hard time letting go. It wasn't a fun place to be anymore.

Looking back, do I regret being Marissa? Not really, because it gave me some much needed perspective... though I guess your mileage may vary with experience like that. Would I do it again? Probably not. I ended up feeling a little dirty after it was all said and done, mainly because of the outright dishonesty of playing that role.

Tags: telnet, talkers, chat, instant messaging, female impersonator, hotel, college, text, gender, online communities

Which is funnier?

I don't know which is funnier:

The original Chris Crocker crying because of all the Britney Spears haters... or Seth Green making fun of that same video for The Soup.

It's a close one... it really is.

Tags: chris crocker, britney spears, seth green, the soup, vmas, myspace, crying

Calling Jodie Foster Out Over Sin City Slam

For the past few days, there have been little snippet stories appearing all over the entertainment news wires about Jodie Foster criticizing Robert Rodriguez and Frank Miller's joint work on Sin City, and I decided to look into this issue a little deeper because I sensed that something wasn't exactly right with how it was being presented.

I sought out the original USA Today article so that I wouldn't misquote her or take what she said out of context. And the context is so very important in this case.

Here is the quote in question: "[Sin City] was so painfully cartoonish I was offended. I don't know how you enjoy or laugh about a child abduction and molestation. What part of that sentence is funny? I can't get beyond that. I don't know if everyone understands the impact of a movie's message."

OK, I have to say it. We all know that Sin City was based on a graphic novel and the book was basically storyboards for the movie... which means that yes, it would be as Ms. Foster so eloquently put it "cartoonish". Utterly shocking, isn't it?

But here is my objection to that statement. She didn't finish watching the movie, and that segment in particular, and because of that it seems like we watched two different movies.

At no point did I laugh about child abduction. I mean, really, does Jodie Foster think the "That Yellow Bastard" chapter of the movie was supposed to be a comedy? I don't know how she got that idea. In fact, within a few minutes of being introduced to the characters involved in that storyline, the hero castrates a child rapist/murderer with his bare hands! Does that sound like the kind of story that is in anyway supporting or condoning the action of child molesters or abductors? To me, it certainly doesn't. That segment of the movie/story was about the bravery of an honest cop in a corrupt system who devoted his life and gave up everything to protect a single child from harm. Is that not noble? Is that not a good message, a positive message?

I certainly think so. To me, that segment is the complete antithesis of what Foster says it is.

Now the interesting point of all this is the context for that above statement. It was an interview about Jodie Foster's exploration of the dark side of humanity through her work and her fascination with crime; in the sidebar of which, there was a list of the selected movies from her filmography related to the subject. The list included her playing a child prostitute (Taxi Driver), a rape victim (The Accused), and an FBI agent hunting down a brutal serial killer with the help of another serial killer (Silence of the Lambs)... while also discussing her new movie, The Brave One, in which she plays a vigilante killer. And about that movie she states that "It's a sophisticated film, and I know that not everyone who is going to see it is going to be sophisticated."

So let me get this straight. When you make a movie like that, Jodie, it is OK because it is an artistic decision on your part, but somehow when another artist does that, it is not OK. Right.

I'm not saying that she has to like Sin City... but come on, at least be consistent. If I said that I didn't like or finish Taxi Driver, and I don't see how anyone else could enjoy it because it glorifies child prostitution, we'll, I wouldn't be too sophisticated, now would I? And would I not be missing "the message" of the movie if I took that premise at face value, because that seems to be exactly what she has done with Sin City.

Tags: jodie foster, taxi driver, sin city, silence of the lambs, criticism, the brave one, robert rodriguez, frank miller, the accused, double standard

Hollywood Pairings I would Love to See

With work continuing on Righteous Kill, the second movie that paired Robert De Niro and Al Pacino together on screen(and the third movie they've appeared in together), I started thinking of a few other pairs of actors I would like to see play off each other in a movie. Here are the three best I came up with.

Samuel L. Jackson and Eddie Murphy: Yes, they appeared together in Coming to America, but that was 1988 and Samuel L. Jackson wasn't the man back then. And with Murphy's recent work in Dreamgirls, I think a cinematic matchup between these two actors could work very well, especially if Murphy played things more on the dramatic side. And given the fact that Murphy is working on two action comedies (Beverly Hills Cop IV and something with Brett Ratner directing and costarring Chris Rock), I think these two actors could work well together as equals in a movie. Maybe with Murphy as the villain, a role we haven't really seen him play. This combination seems like a cinematic possibility sometime in the next decade.

Meryl Streep and Kate Winslet: One is the queen of Oscar Town, the other the apparent heir to that throne. Isn't it time that they met onscreen? I mean, they both do such varied work, and well, I think they would both bring a lot to a movie they were both in. And that movie would likely be Oscar-bait, wouldn't it? Executives wouldn't stick Streep and Winslet in She Devil 2 or Police Academy 9: The Massacre in Moldavia, but then again, you never know what is going to fly in Hollywood. Hey, it could happen.

Sigourney Weaver and Denzel Washington: I have no idea why this pairing popped into my head, but somehow, it just seems so right. And the kind of movie I was thinking about with them both in it was one of those movies that take place in a room/house and it is all talky tension. You know the kind of thing I am referring to: 12 Angry Men/Death and the Maiden but with these two actors involved, well, it could turn to action at any given moment. It would be explosive in every way. And seeing a poster that had the names Weaver Washington in bold would look pretty cool too. But will it happen? Not likely.

So, who are two actors who haven't really worked together that you think could work well together onscreen?

Tags: samuel l. jackson, eddie murphy, meryl streep, kate winslet, denzel washington, sigourney weaver, she devil, police academy, beverly hills cop iv, righteous kill, chris rock, brett ratner, oscar, robert de niro, al pacino, coming to america

From the Subway to the Studio: Susan Cagle

I just happened to catch one of the last reviews from What Greg Likes before he decided to turn in his gun and badge... err, rather blogging pen, where he talked up a live performance CD by Susan Cagle, a New York City subway performer called the Subway Recordings.

Susan Cagle is a singer-songwriter who was formerly a childhood member of the Children of God a religious group *cough* that encouraged its young members to busk, and she learned to play guitar at age 7.

When she finally parted with the group in her late teens, she headed to New York City during the turbulent year of 2001, and discovered that she could make as much money busking in the subways as she could in a normal job, so that's exactly what she did. She recently signed a record deal after being discovered by producer Jay Levine plying her trade at Herald Street Station, and to capitalize on the sound she had cultivated over the years, the decision was made to record the album while she performed live in two subway stations.

A lot of the songs recorded for the CD were also recorded as music videos, and the one that really resonated with me was a song called Shakespeare. It really catches a certain pop sensibility that was missing from a lot of popular music in the past few years during the domination of Britney and Christina.

Now, I've heard rumors that she was also recently on The Oprah Winfrey Show because of her song "Dear Oprah" but I haven't been able to confirm it.

If the above is true, she may be destined for bigger and better things.

Tags: susan cagle, subway recordings, shakespeare, dear oprah, jay levine, oprah winfrey, herald street station, busker, children of god, what greg likes

Sesame Street DVD Deleted Scene: A Culture Kills Comic

Yeah... I was a demented little kid.

Made with StripGenerator.

Tags: culture kills comic, strip generator, sesame street, dvd, deleted scene

Week 17: Pageant of the Transmundane

I always love a great burn, especially when the person being burned really deserves it.

I had discovered The Feck on Stumbleupon last week, and after checking back in this week, I discovered to my great pleasure that they've found something good... something very very good indeed.

It seems that Tori Amos has something rather caustic to get off her chest during her recent tour and employing her gift as a singer-songwriter, well, she expressed them through song.

She wrote a little ditty called I'm not stupid which puzzles over the poor choices that 21-year old Hollywood celebutantes make, and some that older celebrities make as well. On a scale of 1 to 10 of burns, it is a solid 7 or 8 really. That is some fine redhead on redhead rippage.

And since the artist involved in this week's winning entry makes her living at the piano, the most fitting image I could think of was of course, Homer Simpson in front of the piano. Once again, we have a winner of the Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award.



Congratulations Jeremy Hertz and the rest of the fine crew at The Feck for winning this honor, which is especially impressive since your blog started about two weeks ago.



The rules of this little contest: Every week I will be selecting one blog post that I have seen from the vast reaches of the blogosphere to bestow with the Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award for being one of the freakiest(in a funny way) things I've seen or read during a 7 day period. It doesn't necessarily have to have been written during the week, I just had to have encountered it. That means that if you find something interesting and repost it like a movie or whatever, if I saw it at your blog first, you get the prize. Of course, creating your own content is also a very good way to win.

Now, if you see a post that you think is worthy of this illustrious prize, just drop me a line at campybeaver@gmail.com and we'll see if we can't get your suggestion up and award-ready while giving you some credit and a link to your own blog.

Tags: pageant of the transmundane, homer simpson, the feck, lindsay lohan, cocaine, tori amos, winter, jeremy hertz

A Love Letter to Football

I know a lot of you out there in Bloggerland are not huge sports fans, especially when it comes to football, and that's OK. I can deal with that.

But personally when it comes to football, I am a huge fan. That is an understatement really. I have a box full of playbooks. Seriously. I've never coached or played the game in real life, and yet I still have thousands of plays in a box. Don't remember why, but I treasure having them.

The strange thing about my love of the game is that I am not even bound by allegiances to a particular team, division, conference or league. I love football with a terminal and non-specific intensity. And while my distaste for baseball and basketball is almost legendary now, my affection for football of both the NFL and NCAA variety is indeed legendary. Everything that George Carlin said about football vs. baseball is the perfect examination of why I love the game.

I love the rivalries, the personalities, the offensive and defensive formations, and I get a kick out of seeing the improbable, the unbelievable way things go down on the field. I watch heart of Walter Payton and LaDanian Tomlinson with awe, the spring-loaded hips of Barry Sanders with amazement and the motormouth of Chad Johnson with amusement.

The Immaculate Reception. The Holy Roller. The Miracle in the Meadowlands. The Hail Mary. The Drive. All of these moments in sporting history are part of my memory.

And I will watch any game I find. An ESPN classics repeat of the 1982 Stanford-Cal game? I'm there. A preseason match between the Houston Texans vs. Oakland Raiders? Where do I sign up? If I found a NCAA Division III game somewhere deep on the cable dial, I would watch it (Go Poets). I've even watched World League/NFL Europe games when it was still a viable entity.

But my favorite thing to find on the tube is something that NFL Films has put together. The combination of symphonic music and slow motion action shots just can't be beat really.

If I am going to be fair, I have to admit that I am largely disappointed by the games that a lot of the major college teams schedule at the beginning of the season. Of course, every once in a while something extraordinary happens like 1AA champion Appalachian State taking out #5 Michigan this weekend just reinvigorated my love of the game as a whole(and I give App. St. all the credit in that win... saying that Michigan overlooked them or isn't the team the media made them out to be is denigrating their opponent's effort and skill), but because the impossible can happen on any given Saturday or Sunday, it makes every game a thing of magical beauty.

But I will not watch the CFL... that is going a little too far. I'm Canadian, and I have to draw the line at that. 110 yards... why, why?

So, I'm I ready for some football. Damn Right!

Tags: football, ncaa, nfl films, cfl, george carlin, chad johnson, barry sanders, lt, ladanian tomlinson, walter payton, love letter, gridiron, appalachian state, holy roller, hail mary, miracle in the meadowlands, the drive, espn, preseason, the play, stanford, cal, whittier poets

Internet People! Internet People!

It really is amazing how much popular culture the internet community has shared. I mean, I know most of the things mentioned in this video.

Across all borders, across barriers of language, the internet is creating a communal culture that has enveloped us all.

Tags: ask a ninja, lonelygirl15, homestar runner, leroy jenkins, ok go, shining, rocketboom, snakes on a plane, otter, colbert, internet people, boom goes the dynamite, numa numa, jibjab, dramatic hamster

Stumbleupon Finds: August Edition

Because I took that whole hiatus around Labor Day, this is a bit late. Sorry.

Pictures/Artwork

They are making toys really realistic looking now.
Me Play Joke by Luke Chueh
Great VR Photography by Peter McCready.
Samus Aran by Ivan Flores
Mr. E
Walgreens celebrates Black History Month


Comics

Now I understand Lindsay Lohan because of Flowfield Unity
Cyanide and Happiness Mustache Contest
Butternut Squash's American Beauty Homage
Mark Stivers' Why I will never be president
Joy of Tech's If Pets could blog
Chinese Recalled Products from Big Fat Whale
Silent Zombie Movie from Hockey Zombie
Family with a Rabbit
Lunchboxes from You Damn Kid
Foxtrot takes on World of Warcraft
To All my Ex-Girlfriends
Drug Sniffing Dogs at Cartoon Bank
The All New Sesame Street
A Clockwork Green from Truck Bearing Kibble
Life in 8 Steps from Savage Chickens
Censorship Made Easy from Penny Arcade


Words/Essays/Lists

I wish there was video of this
Happy Little Rabbit
The 20 weirdest experiments ever
If World War II was an MMORPG
Wil Wheaton Indicted over Robot Fighting Ring
Things to do when your bored
25 of the world's weirdest animals
Top 20 Taboo Subjects for American Politicians
The 25 Greatest Action Movies Ever


Videos

A Baby Otter. Need I say more?
The Long Road Home
Awesome Office Prank
The American Civil War in 4 minutes
Mark Fiore's Aye Spy
David Lynch on Product Placement in Movies.

Tags: samus aran, walgreens, lindsay lohan, american beauty, butternut squash, mark stivers, blog, pets, big fat whale, partially clips, truck bearing kibble, action movies, penny arcade, wil wheaton, civil war, david lynch, product placement

Rock Stars die younger than general population

Is anyone really surprised by this statistic?

Basically there was a study at Centre for Public Health at Liverpool John Moores University that examined the lives of over 1000 musicians from between 1956 and 2005, of which, there was about a 10% mortality rate.

Of course, given the excesses of that lifestyle which includes drug and alcohol use and abuse and promiscuous sexual conduct, the litany of mental problems as a group they generally possess, access to more dangerous forms of recreation and in general, the sheer amount of traveling they do both on the road and in the skies, that kind of mortality rate seems like it is to be expected. In all, researchers discovered that rock stars have a 70% higher premature mortality rate than the general population.

All the above factors sometimes create a perfect storm in the first five years of fame for artists, as that is the time when they are most likely to die, increasing the likelihood of premature death to an astonishing 240% above the general population.

The study also found that a lack of health insurance later in some of these artists' careers and the increased frequency of reunion tours was also shortening the lives of musicians.

Now, I wonder if someone is going to do a study indicating if playing Guitar Hero to excess is also a cause of premature mortality. I mean, someone probably had a heart attack playing that.

Tags: rock star, guitar hero, life, premature death, suicide, drug abuse, accident, sex, drugs, rock n roll, punk, youth, burnout, fade away

An Open Letter to Quechup and an apology

A quick recap of the situation this entry is discussing.

If you read my blog, you may have received these two emails in the following order:

An invitation from "me" to Quechup
A letter/explanation telling you NOT to join

I would like to reiterate my profound apologies to everyone this whole situation may have affected. It was not my intention for any of this to happen, and it is my sincere hope that this passes with little incident. It was my responsibility, and I am partially at fault for the emails, so

I would like to get a little more emphatic about the company in question.

Now, I really don't swear at Culture Kills.... but just have to say this:

Quechup... I hate you. I hate your company as a whole, and every one of your employees as individuals. You are all a bunch of piss-drinking, shit-swilling, cocksucking, motherfucking sons of bitches, and I suspect the women who work at your company were like Linda Wachowski and Tula, born as men.

It's this kind of behavior that wrecks it for everyone else. I am sure the alien nomination committee for the Biggest Douche in the Universe contest is watching your company intently, as they have been looking for some entity to award a lifetime achievement award to.

May all your employees be trapped on a desert island, and have nothing to eat but Syrup of Ipecac, guano and Ex Lax.


I'm glad the FCC doesn't regulate blogs.

Tags: quechup, fcc

Celebrity Nursery Rhyme: A Culture Kills Comic

I was feeling a little cheeky this week (as was someone else), so I decided to forgo my usual creation method and branch out in a more... photographic sense. I think on one level, it does conform a little bit better to my pop cultural sensibilities.

Oh, the joys of owning a photo disc.

Will I do more like this? Only time will tell.

Tags: culture kills, comic, london, france, underpants, pants, britney spears, photographic, humor

Week 16: Pageant of the Transmundane

Hello from the warm embrace of Las Palmas in the Canary Islands. It is once again time to hand out some recognition for some mighty find transmundanity.

In my travels around the internet this week, I discovered a post at the Roadside Scholar featuring the artistic photography of Terry Border.

Terry did something that most of our mother's told us to stop doing when we were 10-11... played with his food, but unless some of the unholy messes we made when were were kids, his creations are whimsical and wiry. Literally.

I should also mention Terry's site, Bent Objects, as well, and offer him a share of this award.

And to celebrate this week's award, I thought an image of Homer Simpson with a great deal of food was in order, though we all know that he eats like a bird, so finding such a thing is truly an Herculean task. Oh wait, he is as ravenous as a flock of seagulls, so I guess it was a lot easier than I thought. And thus another Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award. Huzzah!



Congratulations to the Roadside Scholar and Terry Border. Feel free to use the following badge to celebrate your win.



The rules of this little contest: Every week I will be selecting one blog post that I have seen from the vast reaches of the blogosphere to bestow with the Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award for being one of the freakiest(in a funny way) things I've seen or read during a 7 day period. It doesn't necessarily have to have been written during the week, I just had to have encountered it. That means that if you find something interesting and repost it like a movie or whatever, if I saw it at your blog first, you get the prize. Of course, creating your own content is also a very good way to win.

Now, if you see a post that you think is worthy of this illustrious prize, just drop me a line at campybeaver@gmail.com and we'll see if we can't get your suggestion up and award-ready while giving you some credit and a link to your own blog.

Tags: homer simpson, terry border, roadside scholar, bent objects, pageant of the transmundane, food, flock of seagulls, las palmas, canary islands