Tuesday, June 15, 2010

The Golden Girls Reimagined

Sometimes it is funny when you realize that real life events and works of fiction have an odd confluence that was never properly explored.

With the recent passing of Rue McClanahan and the sudden surge in Betty White hipness as of late, I've been thinking about the convergence of The Golden Girls with its setting.

Miami in 1985 was at the tail end of the Cocaine Cowboys period, and fellow NBC series Miami Vice was still just in its second season, so the ground was fertile for the series to go in a completely different direction.

Picture it... Miami 1985. A group of older women living in a house together decide that they don't want to work anymore, so they go into the lucrative business of drug trafficking and distribution. Since they are women of a certain age, no one suspects that they are the ones slowly taking over the business from the Cubans and the Colombians. With Dorothy's practicality and head for business, Sophia's Sicilian connections and Blanche and Rose's charm, the Golden Girls become the head of an underworld empire that few could rival.

Of course, I could see Blanche perhaps skimming some product off the side for "entertainment" purposes one too many times and Dorothy making an executive decision about her getting high on their own supply.

And the final episode would have been a raid on their now-mansion after Rose inadvertently tipped off their enemies during a date with an older Colombian gentleman from the Medillin cartel and they all go out in a blaze of glory and cocaine fueled excess.

Come on, you all know it would have been awesome.


Arjan said...

sounds like a script.

John said...

Somewhere in my RSS reader there's an image from a Golden Girls action/adventure parody.

MC said...

Arjan: Maybe one day it will be.

John: That I'd like to see.

John said...

Here it is. I haven't watched it yet.