Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Touch: The Skittles Ad I can't Stop Thinking About

I know Skittles commercials are supposed to be surreal and weird, but there is just something about one of the ads in particular, Touch, that bothers me and makes me ask a lot of questions about that particular version of the world.

Maybe it is the fact that someone thought it was a good idea to have someone whose touch turns objects into Skittles working at a desk with a computer and a phone. I mean, really, what does he do at his place of work exactly? Is he the implied threat of doom if you don't perform? I mean, it seems sort of mean to have someone sit at a desk with things they can't use, in a way that is almost mocking him day in and day out. That's just sadistic. I mean, given his limitations as a worker, I guess the only people he could possibly work for would be Mars, the maker of Skittles. It is a talent which could be very useful for them, as he can turn anything into the candy, so I could see them using this particular talent/curse to turn even garbage into Skittles, making that division the greenest industrial activity in the world.

That'd probably have to label them as such of course, and then some plucky policemen would discover that in addition to vast piles of trash, the occasional dead body would be thrown into the mix, and he start running through the streets yelling "Skittles Green is made from people!" and that wouldn't be good for anyone. Maybe he could feed starving children in the third world with his skill though (that or because of the sugar content of the candy, arable land which is used to grow sugar cane could be put to other use).

When they show this commercial on TV, they usually cut out the part where he talks about killing someone by shaking their hand... because that is really brutal for a commercial. And you just know some little kid on that bus ate some of the Skittles, which is doubly upsetting because a) they used to be part of a human being and b) I've seen the floor of a bus, and you don't want to eat anything off of one. Which begs the question: does he pay for the bus with Skittles?

I also wonder how this individual managed the act of lovemaking without touching his lover with his hands... did she milk his prostate? Or did he develop the Skittles curse after she was impregnated (and I think having hands that turned things into Skittles would all but bar you from adoption).

I wonder how many Skittles this dude eats in a day, because if you are making something which is marginally considered food from your fingertips, you probably eat a few of them... though I can imagine that he would utterly despise them now as they represent everything that is evil in the world to him. Does he go to a support group.

Correct me if I am wrong, but isn't that girl Flo from those Progressive Commercials?

Clearly it is a commercial that asks more questions than it answers.


Semaj said...

You bring up some good points. Does his power go beyond his hands? I guess he can touch anything with the rest of his body because he wears clothes.
Looking around the internet, they say it is the same woman. Stephanie Courtney

MC said...

I wonder if his urine and other leavings also become Skittles.