Thursday, August 27, 2009

Smack Down: Me vs. A Troll

It is such a rare thrill for me to have someone hurl invectives at me, so when it happens, well, I respond with great vigor, because frankly, I am an asshole.

Last night, someone was looking for the Discworld MUD and after doing a Yahoo search, they discovered my blog entry regarding what I called a former addiction to online gaming. The person in question was so incensed by what I wrote that they just had to tell me about it, and since such correspondence is such a rare occurrence, well, I just had to share it with you. Of course, you know there will be snide commentary on the whole thing, but I have not changed the spelling, punctuation or grammar of any part of the comment, nor did I edit out any phrase.

It begins with 4 simple words:

Your such a joke.

Coming from someone who is semi-anonymously leaving a message on my blog 3 years after I wrote the post, this really hurts. I mean, how can I go on after this scathing insult. I guess I'll have to manage because you seem to have more to say.

How weak willed and lame can you be to consider yourself addicted to a online game?

Yep, you nailed me right there. I know it isn't heroin or crack, the latter of which you seem to be an addict of, so I am willing to concede that you are in fact the Bob Saget to my Dave Chappelle in this Half Baked scenario. Of course, this means that in the end, I got some sweet lovin' from Rachel True and you, well, you sucked dick for some coke while another dude watched... so I think I win this round.

1 if you skip classes its not cause the game is holding a gun to your head, I have mudded in class and never had it effect anything.

Apparently, you were mudding during those oh so important English classes. Now, I know I am not a grammarian, but wow, proofreading is your friend. Then again, the crack and the anger may have just been getting to you, so I will forgive you, especially since it is generally poor form to criticize someone's (mis)use of language when there are other, more glaring reasons to find fault. In your case, it isn't even the easiest stone to throw.

2 You were having fun, all you needed to do was figure out that you had your whole life to play the game.

Why didn't I think of that? I guess it took your keen insights and condescending tone for me to realize that. I am sure that attitude would go down well at, say, a Gamblers Anonymous meeting. Try it out and tell me how it went. Well, after you have you teeth fixed, because I think someone might hit you for something like that.

It's not like it was gonna run away why you were at class.

That was never my worry, though it is strange that somehow that thought occurred to you. I guess when you act like such a strident asshole, people have a tendency to run away from you at great speed.

3 What the hell is addiction anyway, but a way to make someone feel bad about doing what they like. Discworld mud is a never ending game no matter how much you play, so you can advance to the day you die.

Somehow I have a feeling this subject has been brought up to you before, because really, this is an unhealthy amount of anger. I mean, really, why are you so angry about this very subject? I mean, the phrase touchy comes to mind. Admit it, you are the kid in this video.

There's no reason in playing 8 hours a day, unless you wanted to because it was fun. Addictions come in two ways, mental and physical, physical can be beat by quiting the substances and replacing them with healthy ones. Mental can be beat by you thinking cleary, and if there is something that prohibits you from doing that it can be treated with medication.

At the end, no it wasn't fun. It was a compulsion, so 4-6 hours a day wasn't fun at all. You understand compulsion right? I mean, you felt compelled to leave an angry comment at my blog, and I am sure that it wasn't the first time you had felt the need to do a hit and run blog comment in the heat of the moment. And you notice that I don't do the thing you are ripping on me for anymore. And think about it, with me not playing anymore, well, that is less burden on the server, isn't it? So tell me again, why you are getting so bent out of shape about this? I mean, disproportionately so. I mean, if I was insulting your mother or perhaps slapping a family member around, I could see it, but I am talking about a game that I don't play anymore, a game that I didn't really say anything bad about. What are you really projecting? Oh, I know, you are a Scientologist, and you won't admit it, so you decided to instead lash out at me about this... I mean, what you wrote above sounds like it is right out of their playbook. I mean, that has to be it. No one could be so legitimately upset about something written 3 years ago that has nothing to do with them unless there was some ulterior motive, or they were merely a little dense in the head, but if you are indeed a Scientologist, than that second part is a given.

Since the fact that I wasted my time writing this message, is already starting to annoy me.

It is likely not the first time you and annoyance have been linked. I have a feeling that you and annoyance have a high correlation, especially when other people are involved in that equation. But I do have to tip my hat to you for the effort. I mean, it must have been a lot of work for you putting all those words together. But I do agree that you did waste your time, and it is a good thing that you agree with that sentiment. I am sorry your pitiful attempt at trolling did not gain you the satisfaction you were looking for. Wait, I take that back. I am ecstatic that it failed to meet your meager standard of self-fulfillment.

Hopefully someone will read this,not be bs'd by your crap, and have fun doing what they love whether it be muds, mmorpgs, etc.!

Well, you have a much larger audience then you would have had if I would have just left it alone, but I don't think this is really the way you wanted it presented. Then again, no matter how someone came across your semi-literate stab at profundity, you wouldn't have come off very well. You didn't need any of my help, though I was glad to assist, and maybe someday you will get help for your crack addiction, anger issues, literacy and your adherence to the tenets of the Church of Scientology, but I gravely doubt it.

Don't let the door hit you on the ass on the way out, because frankly, you might get a concussion based on where your head is currently located.


Megan said...

Damn, dude. Remind me to be nice to you at all times!

Arjan said...

he got burned :)

chelfea said...

Aw, I'm jealous. I get plenty of spam, but I'd love an honest-to-goodness troll.

Semaj said...

Well played, MC.

It does sound like something a Scientologist would say. I’m glad you pointed that out.

I used to play FFXI for about 8-10 hours and thought about playing it while I was away. At that point, I was addicted. It stopped being fun, and it took me a while to realize that.

I have to wonder if this is that Star Wars fan…

Congratulations on getting another troll comment. I’ve had my share.

I don’t understand why they put in so much effort into a three year old post…unless there was another motive here that this troll had. Okay, I’m really starting to believe he is member of that Space Church.

MC said...

Megan: I never claimed to be anything other than an asshole. I just happen to be, as John Amos stated in Die Hard 2 "your kind of asshole".

Arjan: Indeed. It was an enjoyable exercise all around.

Chelfea: Trolls are so rare for me, I have the time to single them out personally.

Semaj: The interesting thing is, I still have my account for the game in question, and I checked up on the person who left the comment. They hadn't played it for the better part of a week when they left that comment. So they got really worked up over something they weren't playing. And re: the Scientology connection, there is a Scientology church in Indianapolis. (What can I say, I did my homework on my troll, so I know quite a bit about them).

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