10 Things you Will Never Hear Me Say: Pop Culture Edition

There is this little thing going around called "10 things you wouldn't hear me say", and I usually don't do these sorts of things, but I was reminded of a great bit by Zach Galifianakis regarding things you would never hear amongst his roommates in his apartment, and in all honesty, I can't get go by a good premise without biting(though hopefully not sucking). But I couldn't do it straight up... I had to make it mine, so in the spirit of my pop cultural mission, it is all Pop Culture.

So, here are things you will NEVER hear me say:

10. I need to know what Brangelina/Paris Hilton/Michael Jackson is doing right now! I'll just turn on CNN because I am sure they have a chopper over that person's house/up their skirt.
09. I can't wait for the next remake
08. I'm so excited. Uwe Boll is making another video game movie?
07. Oh My God... that new Britney Spears/Ja Rule duet is killer!
06. I long for the days of Seagal and Van Damme again.
05. More actors should write books of poetry
04. I think they should be more pretentious and arty when they talk about their work
03. It is ok that they ripped off 70 people in their book. I mean, look at them, they're gorgeous.
02. I think their should be more shows where a group of "professionals" come in and uproot someone's life to make a pointless change for them. I mean, who can live with clutter or unfashionable clothing. Let them make those people feel like crap, because they certainly deserve it for being so unhip.

And naturally:

01. A Seminar for Scientology! Where do I sign up?

So now the question becomes, would you say any of those things?

Tags: uwe boll, cnn, britney spears, ja rule, steven seagal, van damme, jewel, michael madsen, brangelina, paris hilton, michael jackson, ann coulter, trading spaces, trading spouses, clean sweep, scientology, audit, tom cruise, nutbar, seminar, suicide, plagiarism, pop culture, vh1, hire me, zach galifianakis