Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Mark Wahlberg to Star in Crow Remake?

Once again, Mark Wahlberg may be setting himself up to destroy another iconic film.

Not content with his connection with the disasterous Planet of the Apes remake or the forgettable remake of Charade, The Truth about Charlie and the disappointing take on The Italian Job, apparently he has been offered the title role in The Crow remake.

Because that is just what that role needed... someone 10 years older and built like a side of beef... and who possesses a similar acting style to that same edible article.

Here are a few rules that I've noticed generally apply to remakes:

1. Don't remake a Michael Caine movie (Get Carter, Alfie, The Italian Job etc).

2. Don't remake a John Carpenter movie (Assault on Precinct 13, The Fog, They Live, which I haven't seen, but you know it is going to be crappy and so many others).

3. Don't let Mark Wahlberg star in your remake (Wahlberg was in The Departed, but wasn't the star).

I think those are some good general rules. I am not even going to rant about remakes in general because it would be me as a broken record preaching to you, the choir.

And I mean, in almost every other remake, they go younger, and in the one case when it might actually be appropriate, they are going older. Hmmm... why?

This has disaster written all over it. Especially since it is the producer from all The Crow sequels behind this mess.

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