Thursday, November 19, 2009

Miracle Whip? Tone it Down? Wha?

I had one of those epiphany moments last night where I was able to finally see how insane something is.

In this case, it is a slogan that Kraft is bandying about for Miracle Whip.

"We are Miracle Whip and we will not tone it down."

Has anyone in the history of mankind ever said something like that after eating a sandwich or other edible item prepared with Miracle Whip?

Tone it down?

Seriously? Who are these people who have been asking Kraft to tone down Miracle Whip... I want their names, I want their addresses and I want to have them involuntarily committed for the sake of humanity as a whole.

I mean, if someone was to advertise Tabasco sauce like that, it would make more sense. I can just see the ad campaign now (Crazy People style):

Or you know, if Miracle Whip had introduced some new flavors, like a chipotle blend (I just had a Freudian slip there as I typed bland rather than blend... oops), and they were using this campaign to advertise it, then again, that would be great.

It is like having an ad campaign for vanilla ice cream where you talked about how extreme a flavor it is. If you are trying to be funny, it works, but I don't get that sense from the Miracle Whip ads. It is like they are trying way to hard to rebrand themselves as this alternative sandwich spread when they have been the establishment ever since the process for making it was discovered during the Great Depression... and they were the cheaper alternative to mayo back then... now, not so much.

You can't be rebelling against the man if you ARE the man.

What I would love to see is French's Mustard and Heinz Ketchup totally mock these ads in their own special way. I mean, I would buy more of their products if they did. I make that pledge to you, my readers. In fact, I think I would make that promise about any product that prods Miracle Whip for making such a stupid commercial.


Mayren said...

You better Tone it down! (rofl)
I think you haz too much funs up there in the cold cold mystic dark North.

MC said...

Well, there are very few ways to amuse ourselves in the igloos.

Peter Lynn said...

It's particularly funny because mayonnaise is essentially synonymous with blandness, the so-called tangy zip of Miracle Whip notwithstanding.

MC said...

It is so bland in fact that McDonald's has to make it special to serve it.

Anonymous said...

Glad I'm not the only one who found that commercial irritatingly stupid.

MC said...

If someone made a commercial where the team that came up with it got a batch of Glaswegian Kisses, I would applaud.