Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Another Pointless Sequel: Wild Hogs II

News has broken that a new Wild Hogs movie is in the works and it is taking the action across the Atlantic to Europe. As you can tell from the title of this entry, I think this is a mistake.

Sequels aren't necessarily a bad thing, but in my experience whenever a sequel takes place in Europe, bad things are about to befall the viewing public. Take for example another movie series which began life as your basic road comedy about a group of people who drive across country looking for adventure and find a series of misfortunes along the way. You may know it better as the movie National Lampoon's Vacation, which was gold. Then the producers decided to make a second movie, European Vacation, which was an epic failure comedically, one which Eric Idle couldn't even salvage. And the less said about Deuce Bigalow's ill-advised trip to Europe, the better.

So I thought it would be fun to look at the 4 main actors in this movie and think up better sequel opportunities for them as individuals, and ways this sequel news could actually be worse.


Martin Lawrence

Sequel I'd Rather See: Blue Streak 2. I've always liked Blue Streak, and the prospect of seeing Martin Lawrence playing the two kinds of roles that defined him as an actor (cops and criminals) in a single movie is an intriguing prospect. Of course, the main cast from the first movie wouldn't likely appear (though I could see Luke Wilson popping up again for a cameo).

How It Could Be Worse: Big Momma's House 3: Senior Citizens on Patrol


Tim Allen

Sequels I'd Rather See: Big Trouble or Galaxy Quest. Big Trouble was a movie based on a novel by Dave Barry that was very much in keeping with the Elmore Leonard tradition of comical crime picture, and I wouldn't mind seeing those characters together again, and Galaxy Quest is just pure awesome... and while I wouldn't want to see it sullied by a bad sequel. I get that, but again, there is always room for more story (though I think the fact that the actor who plays Tommy Webber, Daryl Mitchell, is now in a wheelchair might put a slight damper on things).

How it Could Be Worse: Too many to name, but I will mention three titles: Jungle 2 Jungle 2: Too Jungle, Too Furious, Zoom 2: The New Nightmare and Christmas with the Kranks 2: High Dosage


William H. Macy

Sequel I'd Rather See:
Um, although he has been in a lot of movies, looking down his filmography reveals one movie that I could possibly see potential in sequel for, and that would be Mystery Men. I mean, I like Mystery Men, but when it is that hard to find something that might work as a sequel, it tells you that someone either picked very wisely or unwisely as an actor. I'll let you be the judge of which side he was on.

How it Could be Worse: Boogie Nights 2: Electric Little Bill


John Travolta

Sequel I would Rather See: None. Not even in a prequel to Pulp Fiction. And I stand by that.

How it Could Be Worse: Battlefield Earth II: Xenu Strikes Back or Look Who's Talking Four Me: The Power of Attorney Years

And can someone write a sequel to My Cousin Vinny or something so Marisa Tomei doesn't have to be in this movie either. Please... anyone?


Semaj said...

Galaxy Quest Ii would be a good choice. I've heard it was on and off again. Getting the whole cast back could be a major Problem. like you said, You have to also explain why one of them is in a wheelchair too. ouch.

Blue Streak 2: This one has come up a few times. I liked the first one too, but Martin likes doing family friendly films now. It got worst, Big Momma's House3 is being fasftracked

Boogie Nights 2: The Internet Years: I'd to see this one. I guess they could bring his character back from the grave as a porn vampire or zombie. Nina Hartley is still around and kicking.

Battlefield Earth II: The Rise of the L. Ron Hubbard Golden Army.

Datrebor said...

I want to see the squeal to Wild Hogs and I want to see it NOW.... I've watched Wild Hogs more the 20 times between the big screen, my TV, my cell phone and tablet.