Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Jones Soda has Doomed Humanity

I wish this was an April Fool's Day joke, but alas, it doesn't seem to be.

It looks like maverick beverage company, Jones Soda, who aside from making a lot of tasty pure cane soft drinks, is also famous for their Thanksgiving Holiday Packs.

The company is also known for using pictures sent in by its customers their labels, and it is this particular aspect of their brand identity that is in question at the moment.

You see, the folks at Jones Soda and the folks behind Icanhascheezburger are running a contest which will see LOLCats emerge from their dens on the internet and into the coolers of convenience stores and supermarkets across North America.

Why? Do any of you out there in bloggerland need to see LOLCats everywhere you go? I certainly don't. I mean, yes, seeing one of those pictures once in a while is OK, but come on, this is taking things a little too far. Because you know what the next step is, don't you? Billboards. And then TV ads. And then they will start beaming LOLcats directly into our brains, and then, well, then, society will come to an end, because as a species will turn on each other and then, the apes will take over.



And all because a relatively small soda company had a contest, so I would like to thank Jones Soda in advance for destroying us all. It was a fun ride everyone... and I am sure our ape overlords will be a lot kinder to us than we were to them.

7 comments:

AG said...

(head in hands) Thanks a heap, friend Matthew; I now officially hate the entire effing Internet.

MC said...

And that is a lot of real estate to hate.

Tuffy said...

I'm trying to decide whether I would get sick of lolcats if your scenario happened. I'm honestly not sure. it's hard because I really love lolcats.

Actually this company is kind of late to the game. I haven't seen a new lolcat in a long time. Some funny pix of cats have popped up lately, but haven't been lol'd.

Arjan said...

I bet someone will put the walrus' on it with the 'I miss mah bucket' and then put in 'I miss mah Jones Soda'

Megan said...

Every time I think I can't possibly worry more about the human race, I see something like this, and I realize again that there just is no bottom to the well...

MC said...

Tuffy: See, I don't mind the occasional LOLcat... but I can see a day when we as a civilization are going to be overrun by them, and I am afraid of that.

Arjan: *shudder*

Megan: Remember Albert Einstein once quipped that "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

pimpin dawg said...

its true i drank that shit and my stomach blew up. now i gotta spend my life mopping up blood and food i lose when i eat. fuck them all. i cant even crap anymore. its bull shit. my finger just fell off and my eye fell out great