Monday, December 11, 2006

Reasons Rocky Balboa will suck

  • Think about the last time you saw Sylvester Stallone starring in a theatrically released movie. Are you all the way back in 2001 sitting at the theatre watching the terrible Driven. That doesn't bode well for this movie either.

  • The movie has the same director as Staying Alive and Rocky IV.

  • Sylvester Stallone's own son didn't reprise his role as Rocky's son. There are rumors that Sage's short film Vic about an aging actor who remembers his glory days in Hollywood sort of made his father angry. But even without that familial discord, Sage Stallone is hanging out with the likes of Quentin Tarantino now, so I doubt he would have dropped everything to costar in a movie about a 60 year old boxer going in for one last fight. One also wonders if Talia Shire took a look at the prospects of playing Adrian once more and said no, prompting her character's death before this movie takes place.

  • If you've seen Rocky V, you already have lowered expectations... lower them further. This cow is dry. Put it this way, Stallone's costar in Rocky V, Tommy Morrison was a part of a more compelling aged boxer coming out of retirement story than that Part VI possibly be.

  • When I want to see a movie about an older man fighting, that's what Diggstown is for, after all, Louis Gossett Jr. was 56 when he made that movie.

  • Think about other movies that were the sixth part of a series... Police Academy, Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, and think about just how good they were. Oh, and I can't fail to mention Leonard Part VI when talking about titling.


15 comments:

Schadenfreude said...

OMFG, Leonard Part VI -- you dug deeeeep for that one. Wow.

And yeah, this movie just feels like a filmic crime... I can't support this.

Leonard Part VI, damn!

snackiepoo said...

I just want to turn the volume off and enjoy Peter Petrelli ;).

Oh hey, video is back up at my site!

MC said...

schad: I am sorry I dredged that up myself. The horror, the horror

Snackie: There are better ways of checking ut Peter Petrelli.

Jeremy said...

Is Stallone funding this himself, or are there really Hollywood execs who think there is an audience for this tripe?

MC said...

At 24 million dollars, I think either case seems plausible(you also have to remember that there is another Rambo movie coming up too, again directed by Stallone).

Jess said...

I know it's foolish of me, but I'm actually looking forward to Rocky Balboa. I know it will almost certainly suck, but I really do love the first four installments in the series (the fifth, not so much).

I'm going to give it a shot at least. What's the worst that could happen? ;)

Paul B said...

And yet, I'm morbidly curious to see this stinker. It is the whole "watching a train wreck" mentality. I...just...can't...look...away!

DutchBitch said...

OMFG! You've got to be kidding me... Another Rocky Movie (yeah, so I live under a rock, STFU!)

MC said...

Jess: Your brain could melt and you'd feel like you went 12 rounds with Uwe Boll in the ring is probably the worst that could happen.

Paul B: Nothing wrong with wanting to see the trainwreck... but you seem to know what to expect going in too. ;)

Dutchy: You don't live under a rock... you've got other more concrete problems that occupy the space in your brain(like how you would dispose of that pesky body) that I devote to useless pop culture wonderings.

I notice the concensus is that even those that want to see it are admitting it will probably suck.

Semaj said...

And don't forget he's making Rambo IV as well. He sort of lost me during his Judge Dread days. Driven was beyond bad; what was he thinking. He should have hung it up a long time ago.

Now, I heard Police Academy is getting another movie as well, but it might in development hell now.

And, Leonard Part VI, talk about a crapfest (Which is out on DVD, BTW)

MC said...

I think the Rocky V-Stop or my mom will shoot-Oscar nexus in the early 1990's did it for me.

Josh L. said...

I'm a fan of the "Rocky" series... I think the last one is going to be a great way to round it off. "Rocky V" left me unhappy about the way they ended the saga, and if they can make another one, it doesn't have to beat the first 4, it just has to be better than 5 and it'll help the legacy...

MC said...

Yeah, I can agree that Rocky 5 was a terrible end to the series, but I still don't have faith about this new project.

The Foo said...

Rocky 5 spoiled it for me but sadly enough I would like to go see this one as I am curious where they will take the story. I like Rambo but I am not sure how he'll be as an aging commando type guy. It seems aging fighters and heros is the current buzz in the air -- I have heard rumors about Harrison Ford doing another Indiana Jones and Bruce Willis doing another Die Hard.

MC said...

I think John McLean has the most story left to tell.