Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Nothing Short of a Meteor Strike Will Stop It

With all this talk about a wider Middle East war and so many new countries pursuing the dream of nuclear armament ownership (it's like a couple's first house, only most homes don't have a creamy uranium center that will liquefy the insides of millions of people in an instant), I've been wondering what would survive the cataclysmic wars of Armageddon.

Of course, Twinkies, cockroaches and Christmas Fruitcake all come to mind, but perhaps a more sinister survivor will emerge.

And of course I am talking about, the Safety Dance, that oh-so-hummable slice of nostalgic Eigties-ana. Think about it. It survived grunge, it survived hip hop.... it is the terminator of songs... and it won't stop until it has consumed us all. Wil Wheaton wondered how it could get recorded? It was a conspiracy to enslave the human race slowly but surely.

Even Matt Groening thinks it will be in part our undoing. I mean, it survived a millenium into the future on Futurama, for it is our past and it is our future... it will be the anthem of our dark overlords.



So today, we must stop it, so I am calling for everyone to burn any copies of Biodome that you can find. Though really, we should have already been doing that. If we don't do this, than someone in the future is going to have to be sent back to destroy Men Without Hats and they will probably end up killing Duran Duran and Men at Work just to be sure, and we don't want that on our heads either... especially since the alternative is so much worse.


10 comments:

Maritza said...

What could possibly be a worse alternative to "Safety Dance"?


Answer: Macarena

Jeremy Barker said...

We can dance if we want to, MC;
We can leave your friends behind;
'Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance;
Well they're no friends of mine.

MC said...

maritza: or the resurgence of disco in the 1980's and the continuing working career of John Travolta as a well-respected actor in that decade... his turn as Westley in The Princess Bride would have been delightfully horrifying.

Jeremy: I fought that electro-maypole swinging menace before, and I can do it again.

.:kat:. said...

Can't. Get it. Out. Of. My. Head.

DutchBitch said...

Well . Thank . You . MC... Just now I had finally banned Men Without Hats from my mind and I seriously had to click the link to the YouTube video to find out what the hell you were talking about... It is back out there... It took me YEARS to get rid of that tune in my head...

I am so gonna get you back for this... Don't know how yet, but I will

Wendy said...

"Safety Dance" is my favorite song from the 80s. I can't help that.

jeni said...

amen!

MC said...

Kat: I will soon post something that will help you with that.

Dutchy: I know you will... I know you will... you have many tools in your arsenal to hit back at me with.

Wendy: I am not saying that it isn't entertaining... just that it will consume us all, and by writing about it, it seems to have started eating into the minds of my readers...

Jeni: Amen to me or Wendy?

2complx said...

spam meat in a can will also live on.

MC said...

Well, spam in general will yes... viagra ads, nigerian 419 scams and pork in jelly oh my.