Nothing Short of a Meteor Strike Will Stop It

With all this talk about a wider Middle East war and so many new countries pursuing the dream of nuclear armament ownership (it's like a couple's first house, only most homes don't have a creamy uranium center that will liquefy the insides of millions of people in an instant), I've been wondering what would survive the cataclysmic wars of Armageddon.

Of course, Twinkies, cockroaches and Christmas Fruitcake all come to mind, but perhaps a more sinister survivor will emerge.

And of course I am talking about, the Safety Dance, that oh-so-hummable slice of nostalgic Eigties-ana. Think about it. It survived grunge, it survived hip hop.... it is the terminator of songs... and it won't stop until it has consumed us all. Wil Wheaton wondered how it could get recorded? It was a conspiracy to enslave the human race slowly but surely.

Even Matt Groening thinks it will be in part our undoing. I mean, it survived a millenium into the future on Futurama, for it is our past and it is our future... it will be the anthem of our dark overlords.



So today, we must stop it, so I am calling for everyone to burn any copies of Biodome that you can find. Though really, we should have already been doing that. If we don't do this, than someone in the future is going to have to be sent back to destroy Men Without Hats and they will probably end up killing Duran Duran and Men at Work just to be sure, and we don't want that on our heads either... especially since the alternative is so much worse.

Tags: safety dance, duran duran, men without hats, wil wheaton, simpsons, eastern airlines, twinkies, men at work, futurama, funkadelic, wars of armageddon, middle east, terminator, evil, overlord, conspiracy, pop music, 80s, it is eating my brain.