Sunday, April 30, 2006

Scarier than any horror movie

I don't know what is more surprising: that Nintendo thought that "Wii" (as in weeeee!) was a good idea for a console name or the fact the Vince Young went 3rd in the draft, a full seven places ahead of Matt Leinart.

The world is a strange and fundamentally scary place sometimes... though I guess that is a fact that is clearly evident to anyone who lived through the disco or boy band eras of music. I unfortunately survived both, and I don't know if I can take another round of something like that, because like an earthquake on the San Andreas fault, it is going to happen again.

I only pray that their new leaders aren't an Osmond/Jackson-like superbrood from the womb of Britney Spears and Kevin Federline/(husband number 3)/.../(one night stand with a syphilitic peanut vendor in a Hotel Six in Starksville, MS)/etc. who couldn't be stopped by conventional weapons or good taste, and their corny and sloppily-constructed songs stupify all that hear them so that they may more easily take over the world. I mean, Los del Rio almost took over the world in 1996 with the Macarena before a small group of college students at the University of Maryland defeated them with an all-night Pixies retrospective. But by then, the damage was done.

Of course, if such a terror-inspired chain of events was to happen (trust me, it keeps me up some nights), I guess our only hope would be a good ole culture war and perhaps a foray in time travel to prevent this unholy union from happening.

For all we know, they may have already been here... oooeeeoooeee. That's why there has been all those incidents showing Spears is a bad mother. Unless she is naturally a bad mother.... nah... that is too simple an explanation.

5 comments:

AG said...

I believe I've figured this one out: Preston Spears Federline's secret Kabbalah name is... John Connor. Who's with me?!

Beretta said...

!!! And have him be our salvation in the battle against Sky Net??? Are you TRYING to doom us all?

MC said...

Makes Oblivion seem like a preferable option doesn't it.

SkyNet, take me away!

The Chainik Hocker said...

Well, there's always the option of not listening to top 40 radio, which is what I do.

MC said...

I don't listen to the radio, but it hasn't stopped me from hearing it. Movies, commercials, shopping(and not just for music), television, people with subwoofers driving by, clubs, parties, talk shows, loud former coworkers, video games, gyms... I could go on, but I am out of breath.