Midweek Video: Out of Control

A great song with a video featuring Rosario Dawson.

How can you go wrong?

I Feel Very Machiavellian Right Now

Sometimes you have gaming experiences where it feels like everything is against you, no matter what you do. And sometimes you experience a series of events that you've set in motion that make you feel like an evil genius, all of whose plans are coming to fruition.

This is one of those latter tales.

It all starts as my time at Peru's Universidad San Martin in Football Manager 2011 was winding down to a close. I had just won the Peruvian First Division title, and I was looking for a new challenge.

So I quit my job there and while there were no positions immediately open, I did publicly express interest in a couple of jobs which had been occupied at the time, but which were ripe for the taking, as the people sitting in those chairs were not bringing the kind of success that management was looking for.

I went after jobs with Boca Juniors in Argentina and Penarol in Uruguay. Boca said they had to see how things were going with their current manager, but Penarol offered me that job almost immediately. I had wanted an 18 month contract, and they would only give me 6. So I finally relented.

And it turns out that in taking the job, I put Luis Fernandez Suarez out of a job. Now, when I was at San Martin, I had a rather poor professional relationship with Suarez, who had been the coach at Cristal before Penarol approached him to manage their club.

So getting that job at Penarol was screwing someone who I had a bad relationship with already, which was sort of cool.

Then I looked at the standings for the first half of the season.

Penarol finished 4th. The difference between where they were and first place was 2 points or to put it another way, the difference between a win and a tie.

I had booted someone I hated out of a job because in one game out of many, Penarol didn't score one more goal.

Again, I got a job because of a single goal or lack thereof.

So I was pretty much in a situation where I was going to succeed, and I did everything I could to see that the team met its goals. I won the second half of the season and qualified the team for Copa Libertadores (which is the highest level international club competition in South America).

And as my contract was nearing an end, Boca then approached me and asked me to take over as soon as contract was finished at Penarol.

At this point, I should mention who the coach of Boca Juniors was at the time.

Diego Freakin' Maradona.

A guy that gets mentioned in the same breath as Pele (and one who some say was the greatest soccer player of all time). A polarizing figure who is loved in Argentina.

Yeah, I pushed that dude, out of a job. If I had pushed him out of nearly any other job, it would have been a little funny. The fact that I pushed him out of Boca Juniors, is amazing. I mean, they love him at Boca. They even have a fight song about him.

I pushed the man who scored what has been called the Goal of the Century for Argentina out of one of the crown jewels of its premier league.

That is a lot of responsibility. But I kept my head.

Then I won. And won. And won.

I won both halves of the season. I won the Copa Sudamericana. I took out Santos, Pele's and the rising star Neymar's former team in the Recopa, and I won the biggest South American club prize, the aforementioned Copa Libertadores. All in my first year.

That wasn't merely victory... that was a curb-stomp battle.

Of course, now they love me.

And riding that wave, I requested to my board that Boca pick up a feeder club, and so they looked around at literally thousands of in the world clubs and came back with a single choice.

Penarol.

Which means that upon agreeing to that, they are sort of my bitch now.

And to think, if Penarol would have given me that 18 month contract to begin with, well, they wouldn't be under the thumb of Boca at this moment.

The sprinkles on top of that icing is now due to my success at Boca over the past year, the Argentinean FA has offered me the helm of the national team, a position I can do concurrently with Boca. At this time, Argentina is ranked #1 in the world.

So yeah, this is going to be fun. If I was really evil, I could use my power as the national coach to sabotage my club side foes by calling up their stars right before I have to face Boca. I'm not going to, but oh, I could be so corrupt. And that is why I am on the verge of crossing the line from every day villainy to cartoonish super-villainy. And that's a good thing.

Slow Applause

That is so succinct and just feels so right.

You Can't Have Thanksgiving Without a Chef

Happi Turksagurvan!

Midweek Video: The History Of Russia As Told To The Theme To Tetris

This is definitely an earworm.

A fun and somewhat accurate take on the Soviet Union.

Save Community!

I think someone should paint Save Community! on some watertowers.

An Open Letter To NBC Regarding Community's Future

How I Am Feeling About Blogging Right Now

I think Lee Sargent hit a lot of the notes I am feeling at the moment in his recent 5th Anniversary post.

I just feel like I don't have as many interesting things to say these days as I once did.

I've lost a lot of passion for this over the past few months, and I don't know if it will fully come back.

Sometimes I Want To Post This In Forums

I've run into a few people who deserve this.

Midweek Video: Shotgun Wedding

A clever little video. I don't want to wreck it for you all.

Fuck You CNN

There was a time I might have defended you CNN. That time is long gone.

Why?

Well, I just happened to be on the front page of CNN and there was a link to a story about actress Selma Blair living in a homeless shelter.

And yes, the story began with that particular tidbit of information... that Selma Blair when she was 21 bought a designer dress instead of paying her rent and she ended up homeless.

Then it literally turns into an ad for the affordable clothing line being released by the designer Blair had bought the dress from in the first place.

I was naive to expect better from them.

Another Remake I'd Be OK With

I was watching Risky Business on cable recently and it occurred to me that perhaps it wouldn't be the worst idea in the world to remake it.

Because, let's be honest with ourselves... the original, while it did make Tom Cruise a star, wasn't really that good.

I am not saying anything bad about anyone who enjoys the original, because I like a lot of movies that could be classified as mediocre to bad. It doesn't reflect poorly on you.

It was an ok movie, with a score by Tangerine Dream that was likely better than the film it was supporting, but aside from that one iconic scene to Old Time Rock N Roll, do people even really reference it anymore. I think it has lost whatever relevance it once had.

And I'd rather Hollywood go after this movie than so many other better and more enjoyable films from the era.

Not that I am the arbiter of what movies get remade.

Sometimes The Real Comedy Is In The Tags

The tags on the Entertainment Weekly review of Jack and Jill are epic.

I think my favorite one is "Things That Make Me Die Inside". "Hollywood Hate Crime" isn't bad either.

Paterno and Penn State

I've been watching this Joe Paterno/Penn State case unfold over the past few days and the more I learned, the sicker I felt to my stomach.

Last night, Joe Paterno, along with a few other individuals were fired by Penn State and a portion of the Penn State student body was upset by this. In fact, they were so upset that they rioted.

*facepalm*

He protected a serial child rapist, a man who he knew was abusing children and he did nothing. Oh wait, he told the administration who basically told Sandusky just don't bring kids onto campus, and in the interim, 9 other children were abused. Paterno was still friends with this individual and he knew about this stuff for years.

Edmund Burke said that "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." Paterno is very much guilty of that.

If the events that had transpired at Penn State were the plot of a fictionalized movie, he would have been one of the villains. Turning a blind eye to child sexual abuse when you had the responsibility to put a stop to it and see that it was punished to the fullest extent of the law, especially when your job itself had to do with training and leading a group of young men on the field and seeing to their educational needs.

By failing to live up to even the most modest of obligations as a good human being, Paterno did not deserve to end his career on his own terms.

I was reading an article on Bleacher Report perhaps giving Penn State football the Death Penalty (which means, for those of you who don't follow college sports, that the affected school cannot compete in a particular sport for a year or more).

And I would support that now. I would support that entire program being wiped clean and starting fresh. Will there be any sanctions against Penn State? Likely not from the NCAA because in their rules, I don't think their is a section for gross violations of human decency, only for things like scholarship and financial issues.

There need to be severe consequences for this breach of trust, and it has to be across the spectrum. Penn State shouldn't just be able to walk away from this unscathed. Firing Paterno and others isn't enough. The school and those individuals will likely be named in civil and criminal litigation, but the NCAA has to step up and punish the school as well and make it stick so that in the future, other institutions are more vigilant and active about stopping these kinds of abuses.

I Don't Remember This Episode of Ren and Stimpy

And I hope this is Safe For Work for everyone.

Ren is totally selling it.

Sunday Video: Bill And Ted's Excellent Inception

While not in the same league as Anchorman 300 or Scott Pilgrim, The Last Airbender, this is still fairly entertaining.

The Throne of Games

Winter is coming, and there are games to be played... lots and lots and lots of games to be played.

Do You Ever Confuse Two Similarly Named Celebrities

I always mix Karl and Keith Urban up.

I know they have similar names and all, but come on, one was in the excellent RED and who would most likely play fellow blogger Lee Sargent in a movie, the other is a country singer.

I mean, with other last names, I don't mix celebrities up. Like I don't mix Emily and James Blunt up, or the various Allens, Jones, Smiths and Atkinsons up either.

What is it about "Urban" that has that effect on me. Perhaps I will never know.

But are their any celebrities which confuse when seeing their names?

Midweek Video: Gentleman's Rant: Hipsters

All things that needed to be said.

You know it is true.

I Nominate Heidi Klum As The Queen Of Halloween

There are lots of things you can say about Heidi Klum, but one of them can't be that she doesn't love Halloween.

I think she commits to the holiday like few other celebrities.

If you haven't seen her costumes, you've missed out, and I warn you, the last one is one you should avoid while eating.

*slow applause*

Linda Lovelace Biopics

Amanda Seyfried is now poised to play Linda Lovelace in a movie too?

Considering how many times that role has changed hands over the years (Anna Faris and Lindsay Lohan both come to mind for that particular role), I won't believe a Linda Lovelace movie is being made until one of them is finally released.