Midweek Video: After Hours: 4 Commercial Alternate Universes

The arguments about the as-seen-on-tv ads are very persuasive I have to admit. Once again, Cracked hits one out of the park.

Yoda Impales The Predator

I'd totally watch that movie. Unless that is something that George Lucas added to The Empire Strikes Back.

Scarface Being Re-Remade

I don't swear a lot on this blog. This post is a huge exception to that. You are forwarned.

Hollywood, and very specifically Universal Pictures, Martin Bregman and Marc Shmuger, go fuck yourselves.

Seriously. Go. Fuck. Your. Selves.

And this isn't coming from a place of super fandom of De Palma's Scarface. This is coming from my pure exasperation with this trend that just won't die.

3D is going to eventually die, but these remakes are just going to keep coming. They are going to keep paving over the past with shitty movies that tarnish the legacy of better films, and the people who are doing this, from the beginning of the process to the end are all assholes.

How many versions of this story do we need to see, and how could they possibly up the ante on a bloody, profanity laced movie starring someone who at the time had been nominated for 5 Oscars. Yes, I know the 1983 version was a very topical remake anyway.

I know there are no original ideas anymore, but the least someone involved could do is at least put the veneer of originality on these things instead of attaching them to an existing property, because they could totally start another franchise with those same elements.

But they won't because they are all lazy asses who deserve to get punched in the throat and beaten within an inch of their lives. Instead, they will get promotions.

Fuckheads. Every last one of them.

Sunday Video: Christopher Walken Reads The Three Little Pigs

There has been a running gag across a lot of different cartoon series regarding Christopher Walken reading a story to children.

I didn't know video of Walken actually reading a children's story existed.

It is a lot more fun than the parodies, that's for sure.

Two Silly 1990's Political Statements Revisited

I was just thinking about a few statements political figures in the early 1990's made, and in retrospect, they seem really quaint now.

The first one was Barbara Bush saying that The Simpsons was "the dumbest thing I had ever seen," which given the fact that she lived through My Mother The Car, Manimal and You're In The Picture, so there had been dumber shows before that point.

And the past two decades have had some really awesome series too, but it has also had some of the dumbest television ever created as well. Look in your heart, you know it's true. I don't even have to mention a specific title, because I think you are probably thinking of the same one I am.

Then there was Dan Quayle's speech decrying Murphy Brown for having a storyline where the affluent title character has a baby as a single mother and how horrible that was for society.

How did that speech pan out in the past 18 years?

Oh, I see. That was very effective, wasn't it. *facepalm*

Midweek Video: The Most Overly Dramatic Break Up Ever

I love the movie references.

Cracked, you've done it again!

My Thoughts On The "New" Facebook

Meh. It's Facebook. It isn't like they haven't changed everything since they started already.

Is it a little annoying? Yes, I won't deny that, but at the end of the day, how many times have the powers that be at Facebook changed something, you didn't like it and you complained, and then you just learned to live with it until the next time they changed something.

There have been very few times when I've been upset with a redesign of a site, but the one that immediately springs to mind is the Internet Movie Database. Before the change, it was very easy to navigate and all its pages seemed to fit in the minimum of space, which in my mind would make it seem to be ideal for mobile browsing as well.

But like I said, they changed it and it wasn't as nice a place to visit. And even though I had found a workaround to browse the site the way I had been used to, I don't feel like going through all that trouble to go back to the old version every time I want to look something up, so most of the time, I just use the site the way it is.

The thing is, if you really hate the new Facebook, you have to stop visiting. If traffic went down significantly, then those behind the changes may roll them back a bit... though I think all this grumbling will settle down in a few days anyway.

Well, until the next change at least.

Can I Bet On This In Vegas

I wonder what the over-under is going to be for someone on Two and a Half Men using the phrase "Dude, where's my car" or "Burn!" on the show.

I think it will be some time in the next three episodes.

The Comedy Central Roasts: Who Should They Really Be Roasting?

With the Roast of Charlie Sheen airing tonight, it seems to me that my thoughts about the Comedy Central Roasts in general would be especially relevant.

To me, most of the people they do the roasts for on Comedy Central aren't worth the effort. I mean, David Hasselhoff and Flavor Flav? Really? I don't like Larry the Cable Guy, but I totally get why they roasted him, and William Shatner made sense too.

But there are people who seem so obvious to me, it seems weird that they haven't been roasted already. Here are a few of them.

Jon Stewart: He is on Comedy Central, he has appeal outside the network and on The Daily Show, he has worked with quite a few people who have gone on to projects of their own. This one seems like the most obvious one.
On the Dais: Stephen Colbert, Steve Carell, Ed Helms, Garry Shandling, Dennis Miller, Ricky Gervais, Bruce Springsteen
Surprise Guest: Bill O'Reilly

Louis CK: A comedian's comedian and one with a successful cult television show, and he would be hilarious when he was tossing back the insult during the final act.
On the Dais: Chris Rock, Conan O'Brien, Jim Norton, Opie and Anthony, Marc Maron, Ricky Gervais (he isn't going to be on all of them, but yeah, this one too), Nick DiPaolo
Surprise Guest (though not so surprise now): Dane Cook

Bill Clinton: Come on, you know there are still a lot of jokes floating around a bunch of comics heads that haven't been told just yet. And I don't think GWB would agree to do one, especially after the infamous WC Dinner ripping from Colbert.
On The Dais: Talk Show Hosts... it would be fun hearing Conan/Letterman rip on Leno to his face too. Plus Jon Stewart/Colbert
Surprise Guest: Jimmy Carter

Bill Cosby: You have a grandmaster of comedy, one who was instrumental, along with a few other pioneers like Dick Gregory, helped mainstream black comedians for the American public.
On the Dais: Dick Gregory, Eddie Murphy, Chris Rock, Dave Chappelle, Patrice O'Neal, Paul Mooney, Larry Wilmore, Alonzo Bodden
Surprise Guest: Phyllis Diller or Joan Rivers

Now I wonder, who would you like to see Comedy Central roast?

Sunday Video: Check Out TVCriticGrimlock's Vlog

Still trying to get back up to speed when it comes to a regular posting schedule as you all may have noticed.

However, I wanted to mention both the twitter feed and the Youtube channel.

Using the speech patterns of beloved Autobot Grimlock, both the feed and the recently started Vlog discussing television. It is well-informed and hilarious.

Check out the first two episodes:

Is It Wrong That I Sort Of Want To Be This Guy

The Knock Off Syndrome

I noticed a strange, though not entirely unexpected trend the past few years.

It seems that every time a new Twilight movie was released, the drug stores and supermarkets near me would suddenly be flooded with vampire romance novels with artwork that was similar to the Twilight novels. It was an astonishing amount of books written around that subject.

And the number of books I've seen over the past decade about child/student wizards blows my mind. Of course, a lot of them were books written specifically to cash in on the Harry Potter trend.

I thought it was also sort of cute that below the Stieg Larsson trilogy about the girl with the dragon tattoo at my local supermarket, there was a parody novel entitled The Dragon With the Girl Tattoo.

So what I am wondering is, with the success of the Game of Thrones on HBO, are we now going to see a flood of new dynastic fantasy series making their way to the bookstores, drug stores and various other outlets in the coming months and years? Or do publishers believe that despite the fact that novels from that series have topped the New York Times Best Sellers list, that random people might not buy similar titles as impulse purchases.

But I do have a feeling there is going to be a massive amount of books with similar titles coming out in the next two years. I guess time will tell if I am right or not.

Sunday Video: Vacation

Going to work on some other writing, play some Morrowind and Grid and start reading Game of Thrones this week, so I thought I would take an official break from the blog for the next little bit.

And this song seemed to be the most appropriate way to say that.

Huzzah!

Midweek Video: Jerry The Great

I love mashups and re-edits and this video made up from clips from Seinfeld turns the series into a dramatic movie full of lies, betrayals and scheming.

It plays right into the amorality of the original series.

It also has one of my favorite lines ever on the show: "I believe that I am about to become the target of a systematic process of intimidation and manipulation..."