If I Was Still Doing The Pageant Of The Transmundane Every Week...

...I Am Your Grandma would surely win this week. I really enjoy lovingly bizarre things and Jillian Mayer created just such an artifact.

I especially love the look on her face at the end of it, like she is bewildered by what just happened. It makes the video so much more delightful.

I wish I had a badge to give her for this effort, but I got lazy and didn't make one even though I said I would hand out this award from time to time.

Midweek Video: After Hours: Why Batman Is Secretly Terrible for Gotham

After Hours is my favorite thing on the Cracked site.

There was a moment where I predicted the ending... did you have that experience?

Well Played Internet... well played

via Loled

The SCOTUS Decision On California's Gaming Law

With the recent Supreme Court decision striking down California's controversial video game sales ban to minors, there has been a lot of griping from certain vocal groups about how damaging games are to kids.

Now, I am in no way advocating that children have access to every game, rather I am in favor of parents/guardians making informed decisions about games based on ratings like another form of media which also has a voluntary industry-derived ratings board. I am of course talking about the film industry. Its ratings are also voluntarily enforced by its member theatres and retailers.

This ruling not only protects gaming, it protects film as well, since a ruling in favor of the law would have created precedence for a future challenge of the film industry. Since a lot of major retailers said they would no longer carry M-rated titles if the law stood, the financial incentive for developers to create games for players over 18, who make up 82% of all gamers, would have been greatly diminished.

But when I think about my lifetime of playing video games and I weigh it against the other media I was exposed to around the same time, I can honestly say that movies, books and the like did far more psychological scarring to me than video games have.

Off the top of my head, here are just a few of the things from my childhood (and a couple from my adulthood) which have messed me up more than any video game.

The Burning Bed: There is a particular shot from this TV movie that came up every time they discussed the film on TV, and in every trailer for it. The scene I am talking about is a close up of Farrah Fawcett's face and you can see her husband's hand with a beer in it beside her head. And when he opens it, she flinches and he just backhands her. Granted, the whole movie is upsetting, and the fact that it was a tv movie meant that at random times, as a kid, I would just run into it as part of an afternoon matinee on a network television station or on a nightly movie in syndication.

Death Wish II: I happened to see this movie on tv when I was a kid, and even though it was edited for that medium, it still featured the rape and accidental suicide of Paul Kersey's daughter. And even though I watched a lot of horror movies with my sister, that particular set of incidents really affected me.

Gravity's Rainbow: The only thing I can really remember about this mammoth book now is the thing that made me have to put it down for a few minutes. What was that thing? A woman took a dump in a high ranking member of the American military's mouth (who was receptive to that). As far as I know, I don't think any mainstream game out there has that. I could be wrong, but I so hope I am not about that.

History: I have a history degree, so I had always had a healthy interest in the subject. But with that interest, you also find out about the more sinister elements of the subject. You know, details about the Spanish Inquisition, the Mayans, the Nazis, the Japanese Army during the Second World War, the witch trials etc which will mess with your mind. To quote an very accurate internet saying, what has been seen cannot be unseen.

24-hour News: Think about how many times you've seen the video of 9/11, or school shootings, bombings etc in days that followed each of those events, or on their anniversaries. Part of me thinks it is sort of sick that every September 11th, the media decide to show the video of people leaping to their deaths from windows and the roof. I remember... I think most people who were alive and cognizant of the world during that day remember it. But I think the fact that stuff like this messes people up should go without saying.

And then as I was writing this, it also occurred to me that the generations of children the initial law was passed to protect are the same generations of kids that have cell phones and laptops with internet access and outside of real life things I've seen/experienced, the internet has been the thing that I would say has exposed me to the most disturbing things I've ever seen or read.

I have a niece. I am not really afraid of the mainstream or even indie games she is going to play. I'm a lot more afraid of the movies she is going to see and especially the sites she is going to visit before she is 18, because the worst things in those two areas would instantly make a game Adults Only and thus, unavailable to the general shopping public. I don't foresee a game where 3 people become one huge digestive system, or a game with a brutal, 9 minute rape scene filmed in one long take, let alone anything resembling one of those shock videos online.

Sunday Video: Joe Piscopo Raps As 1980's Personalities

Semaj posted a happy birthday wish to Joe Piscopo a few days back and it made me want to look back at some of his work from the 1980's. He really was a great impressionist.

I found this pseudorap video he did back in 1984 for an HBO special which features a lot of impressions of various television personalities from that era, and it is almost like a highlight reel of his talents.

I just wish he would have done more.

Team Fortress 2 Is Now Free On Steam!

Well, Valve announced some awesome news last night: Team Fortress 2 is now free to download and play on Steam.

Even though I've owned the game for little over six months, I was only able to really start playing it after I got a new video card at the end of May, and I've put a lot of hours into it because it is just that fun. And now a whole lot more people can start playing it too on both the PC and Mac, and to me, the more the merrier.

I have to say, I haven't enjoyed a multiplay first person shooter this much since Unreal Tournament. It is just so silly and balanced and it offers so many different play styles, weapons options and classes to match so many types of players that I think there is something for everybody. And it has an average rating of 92% on Metacritic, so to say it was well received is an understatement.

And when I say it is silly and funny, you have to check out the various trailers and meet the characters videos Valve has made to get a sense of that.

I will say this: if you start playing this game on Steam, I will play you. I will even coach you if you need it. Just add me (writinguy) on Steam and we'll mess some stuff up.

Valve did something which in retrospect was sort of smart too. Earlier this week, they announced that this week would be a free to play week so people who were interested could download it. At the time, it seemed like just a PR move to coincide with the Uber Upgrade, but in retrospect, it ended up being a way for the company to spread out some of the downloading of the game over a greater amount of time before they announced it was going to be free forever. Because, I can't imagine how much more network gridlock Steam would have had last night between 10-11 PM Eastern last night if this week hadn't been building up to that moment with "trial" downloads of the game.

Now there are going to be premium players (like myself) who owned the game before this change, but the difference between the two tiers is based more on how much stuff you can have, not any real in game or on the battlefield advantages. But even getting a premium account is really cheap. Like less than a buck to have one forever (since you just have to buy a weapon or something from the in-game store and a lot of those items are 49-99 cents).

So even if you are a casual player, it is an easy game to get into, so if you have a computer that will run it, it is well worth the download. What are you waiting for?

This Might Actually Make Me Like Orlando Bloom

BTW, check out the video for Weird Al's Perform This Way... it is hilarious and a great statement about Lady Gaga.

The New Magicka Ad

This seems really familiar.... hmmmm.

I haven't played this game, but it does seem awfully tongue-in-cheek. And yet another game ad that doesn't feature any gameplay footage.

Snoop Dogg Wants To Play Benny Hill

I don't have a problem with Snoop Dogg, and I am not a fan of Benny Hill, but the news that the former wants to play the latter just rubs me the wrong way.

If Snoop Dogg wanted to play Dave Lister from Red Dwarf, I think I'd be all over that (or ooh, what about Dave Chappelle).

When I first read the headline of the story, I thought Snoop wanted to recreate the show... but that doesn't seem to be the case.

No... he wants to play Benny Hill in a biopic.

If it happens, I'll have to see it just because it sounds so bizarre.

Blah!

Hey everybody.

Just in a bit of a malaise at the moment when it comes to blogging. But what else is new.

It could get rough over the next couple of weeks, and I thought it was only fair to give you a little warning because I could get a little cranky in some of my posts (but I assure you, not the comments).

Monday Night Combat: Guest Pass

Today, the game Monday Night Combat is on sale at Steam for $3.75, and I bought it.

In doing so, I also got a guest pass for it that I can give to another Steam user so they can try it out too.

If anyone wants it, just drop me a line in the comments or add me as a friend on Steam. My user name is writinguy.

Sunday Video: Samuel L. Jackson Reads Go The F*ck to Sleep

Well, it is a match made in pop culture heaven. A tongue in cheek (though coated in truth) and profane book about getting an active child to sleep meets a man who is known for his brand of swearing.

For some strange reason, I want to hear Jeff Bridges read this too.

Does Anyone Else See This?

Is it just me or does this almost look like a before and after ad for some form of facial treatment?

Fun Short Story Alert

You should totally check out Influx Capacitor by Eric J. Juneau, especially if you like time travel stories.

I'm Not A Cat Person

But even I have to admit this is friggin adorable.

Anthony Weiner Resigns *facepalm*

I am probably going to be updating this post throughout the day as I think of things to add.

I can't believe Anthony Weiner is resigning. Don't get me wrong, I don't support the choices he made, but let's cast our minds back and think about all the other things his fellow representatives have done which were far worse than sending some pictures of his junk to some women. I mean, the late Senator Ted Kennedy left the scene of an accident where a woman died and he ended up serving with that body until his death.

I mean, before the Civil War, Preston Brooks beat Charles Sumner nearly to death with his cane at his desk while another colleague held others back with a pistol and for that act, he resigned. I think sending provocative pictures through electronic devices ranks a lot lower on the "should I resign meter?" than that.

Think of all the caught adulterers, escort clients, tax cheats, hypocrites, embezzlers, takers of bribes, acknowledged corporate servants etc, and weigh that against one dude who *gasp* lied about sending photos electronically to women before and after his marriage.

Not under oath. He just lied to protect a personal matter. And to me, in that situation, I can totally understand telling the lies because I can make the differentiation between lying about a personal, non-criminal matter (as I understand it) and lying about something in his professional life. And I am someone who really takes a seriously dim view on infidelity.

But if David Vitter, who took his shots at Clinton and called for him to resign didn't do so himself when he was faced with his own multiple scandals involving different escort agencies. Around the same time, Eliot Spitzer resigned for essentially the same offense, which leads me to the conclusion that either Republican politicians are generally hypocrites or the Democrats don't have the balls to tell their opponents to just shove it. I think it is probably a little from column A and a little from column B.

So if Anthony Weiner is going down, I hope he goes down swinging. Burn bridges. Resign in epic fashion and call out everyone. Or have everyone believe you are going to resign and then be defiant and tell the world he isn't going to resign until Vitter and a bunch of other politicians resign to and then mention the fact that Andrew Breitbart wants an apology and respond with something "I'm sorry... that he feels that way. Maybe I would be more inclined to apologize to him and his organization if he actually got more stories right in the first place. I mean, I am sure I could lock a bunch of monkeys in a closet with some word processors, and they'd come up with some more accurate stories than Andrew Breitbart "reports" on daily."

I'd love to see someone, anyone in a situation like this go full blown movie protagonist like President Shepherd near the end of The American President.

I know Jon Stewart has been ripping on him for a few weeks, but I think he might be a little gentler tonight.

Midweek Video: Awesome Noire

I've never played LA Noire, and yet, this cartoon cracks me up.

And I have to thank it for introducing the term "Benedict Assface" to my vocabulary.

Looking For Advice

I had a online female friend in 2000-2 and we sort of fell out of touch, and I am wondering how weird it would be to drop her a line.

We used to email and yahoo chat (typed and voice) and play casual games together all the time back then (and we ran a Yahoo! Groups version of The Mole together), and we had exchanged letters/gifts during that time too.

We didn't stop talking because of anything skeevy or because either party was angry or hurt (at least as far as I know), and there have been times in the past that I have thought about trying to renew our friendship, but I am always worried that on some level, it my be construed as creepy.

The strange thing is, the reason I am thinking about this girl again is due to the release of Duke Nukem Forever and she had sent me a Duke Nukem expansion disc way back then which I still have somewhere.

Well, that is one of the reasons... I've been thinking about the events of 2001 for a few days now... it was such a dense and complicated year.

Those Are Some Bad Scores

Maybe it would have been better for everyone if Duke Nukem Forever had remained Vaporware.

I know it couldn't live up to expectations, but those are some awful, awful scores. If you read one of my earlier entries, those scores place DNF clearly in the unplayable category for me, which is a real shame since I enjoyed the character's exploits on the PSX.

I'm Turning Into A Crotchety Old Man

Is it sad that I am sort of proud that I've never seen Jersey Shore or a Real Housewives show?

Or that I only really know Ke$ha and Lady Gaga songs through parodies and covers?

You know, come to think of it, I haven't even listened to the whole atrocity that is Friday.

I guess I am getting a little more set in my ways as I get older, so I am just not into trying new things. Or at least things which seem sort of crappy (or totally so).

Let's face it, I am becoming a crotchety old man who doesn't like novelty anymore.

The Awesome Movie Posters of Tyler Stout

ComicsAlliance had an article a few days ago about the work of Tyler Stout, the artist behind some of the posters the Alamo Drafthouse uses to advertise its movies.

I would totally rebuy Robocop on DVD or even on Blu-Ray if it included that artwork.

The Goofy/Pluto Thing

I wonder if Mickey Mouse and Goofy ever had a certain uncomfortable conversation about Pluto.

You know, something that went a little like this:

Goofy: Ahoy Mickey.

Mickey: Oh, hey Goofy. What's going on?

Goofy: Ah, not too much, but I wanted to talk to you about something. I just happened to notice that you keep one of my canine brethren as a pet.

Mickey: So what's your point?

Goofy: Well, it just doesn't seem right. I mean, he's a dog just like me, and yet, you keep him like a slave.

Mickey: Put it this way, if certain actors don't like the fact that I have Pluto as a pet, then I am sure we can recast the part. Hmmm, do I know any other dogs that could play that role?

Goofy: Wait Mickey, now don't do anything rash.

Mickey: I just don't want anyone to be offended. That sentiment seems to be going around.

Goofy: No, no, no no. I was just making an observation, that's all. Consider it withdrawn.

Mickey: That's what I thought.

You know they had a conversation about it at least once.

Sunday Video: Kid With A PVC Instrument Medley

He certainly seemed to have a lot of fun playing with this makeshift instrument. I wonder how long it took him to learn those songs.

Great Hey Arnold Related Costume

And I didn't even watch that show...

Yet Another Reason Why I Can't Play MMORPG's

As some of you may have noticed, I haven't been blogging with the same regularity or length of posts lately, and there is a good reason for that.

You see, last Monday I had a new video card installed on my computer, so I was able to play some of the games I bought on Steam that I hadn't had a chance to before.

One of those games happens to be Team Fortress 2, which is a fun, silly shooter with hats... lots and lots of hats.

Anyway, I started playing the game on June 2nd, and on the 3rd, Valve started a double drops week, meaning that I was getting a lot of weapons, which is an excellent start to campaign with the game.

However, I think I went a little overboard... because I've enjoyed getting the drops so much that I played a little longer than I would have wanted to over the past week.

Um, yeah. That isn't healthy at all. And the thing is, since I bought The Orange Box in December, Team Fortress 2 was essentially free for me to play, so I am just imagining how much I would feel compelled to play if I was paying to play every month, since I am a little cheap, so I would want to get value for my money. And the idea that I might get something good for my character if I keep playing would, as it has been shown above, keep me playing when I may have ended a session.

Don't get me wrong, TF2 is a lot of fun, but without the double drops, I don't think it is 42 hours in 9 days fun (granted, a lot of that was weekend play, but still). That is just because I am a weak, weak man.

Midweek Video: Confessions of A Disney Employee

An interesting animated video about working at a Disney Theme Park.

If You Were Sick Of CSI...

...then the news that Laurence Fishburne is not returning next season and Marg Helgenberger is really pulling back from the series should make you a little happier today.

Following the departure of William Petersen, the ratings have steadily been declining, and with this further transition of main characters out of the show or the spotlight (and honestly, they may not be the only ones pulling out of the franchise), it seems that the series may be approaching its logical conclusion in the upcoming season.

As someone who at one point watched the new episodes, I have to admit that I stopped watching around the time Petersen left, since of he was the center of that show and I honestly think that perhaps the show has run its course.

I know CBS, with their problems on another one of their top series, wouldn't want to lose CSI, but I think the show's days are numbered. The move to Wednesdays at 10 is likely going to also negatively effect the show, which will speed up its demise. And that is probably a good thing.

That Is A Great Critical Burn Re: The Hangover 2

“So Mike Tyson’s tattoo artist tried to stop the worldwide distribution of The Hangover Part II, based on the premise that the filmmakers had stolen his Maori-inspired design and stuck it on Ed Helms’ face. I guess that wasn’t much of a legal case, which is too bad, because as it turns out the guy was accidentally trying to perform a public service. Maybe he should have tried the argument that the movie sucks so bad that if anyone, anywhere, thinks he had anything to do with it that amounts to defamation of character.” — Andrew O’Hehir from Salon

Strange Thing To Note

I just realized that today, on the day of Michael Cera's 23rd birthday, he is now as old as the titular character in Scott Pilgrim vs. The World.

But he likely isn't fighting evil exes tonight.

You Are Telling Me Someone Didn't Get Paid For This?

Is it me or is it suspicious to anyone else that almost the entire first page of the IMDB is devoted to the Twilight series today.

The new trailer is up, new pictures are up, and it is the poll question and the Movie/TV Quote as well.

I know it had some huge victories at the MTV Movie Awards, but really, this is ridiculous. The IMDB has to be getting paid big bucks for this kind of promotion.

Maybe they've done this in the past and I just never noticed.

Sunday Video: Tune For Two

An entertaining black comedy in short film form.

Why Are Golden Retrievers On Everything?

Has anyone else noticed that on dog food and other related products, the Golden Retriever seems to be the go-to breed, like they are the idealized version of what a dog is.

I am not saying they are on everything, but it seems like it is on a majority of items dog related.

When you look at cat related products, it seems there are a greater variety of felines on their packaging than the stuff for their canine compatriots.

I wonder at what point the golden retriever took on this mantle of being the load bearing animal for dog products everywhere, especially since there are so many breeds out there that would look great on a label.

I mean, there are so many different breeds out there, representing so many different sizes, colors and fur types, how did one breed come to epitomize an entire species?

Fear Factor Is Coming Back?

I was thinking it was strange that the ever-disgusting Fear Factor was no longer on television given the success of shows like Wipeout which, aside from the gross eating, basically cover the same ground with differing levels of gravitus.

Well, I guess someone in Hollywood was thinking the same thing as it seems that the reruns of the series have been doing well on cable, so NBC is going to be bringing it back.

But Joe Rogan is not going to be involved as the producers want a fresh host for the series. Part of me thinks it would be nice for him to get some money out of the deal... maybe on the producing side of things, but that might just be me.

While I won't be watching it (since I am still boycotting the network because of what happened to Conan O'Brien), it is weird that something I thought about in passing last week is coming to fruition.

Maybe I will think about Dead Like Me in passing this week and see what happens.

Literally Unbelievable

I came across a site today called Literally Unbelievable, which carries, in their own words, "Stories from The Onion as interpreted by Facebook".

And reading some of the entries, I was frightened that so many people don't get that The Onion is a satirical site, especially when the stories in question are so outlandish that I can't understand how anyone would believe they are true, like the idea that the last 7 minutes of the final Harry Potter movie are going to be released as 7 separate films or a story about how Obama once again resisted the urge to launch the entire nuclear arsenal at once because he can.

It seriously makes me question the common sense of a substantial number of people. Especially since when presented with such stories, they didn't see if any other news organization was covering it. That would seem to be at the very least, the smart move in that situation.

Shaq Retires

Is it bad that my first thought upon hearing this news was, "Oh God, he is going to start making movies again." And then I look and he is set to appear in a movie this year.

The horror. I mean, the dude was in Freddy Got Fingered and Scary Movie 4... not to mention the movies he starred in. We are all doomed.

Or, I don't know, he could ride around in tiny cars all day long now.

But seriously, it has been a heck of a career on his part and a genuine sporting personality, and for that, I salute him.