Week 12: Pageant of the Transmundane

A man was arrested this week after assaulting another player during a Monopoly game. As someone who has played that game, I think the man has a rock solid defense... I mean, Monopoly would make a game between Martin Luther King, Ghandi and the Dalai Lama break out into fisticuffs and rowdyism.

Anyway, this week's winning entry comes to us from a blog that as of late, has really been throwing the heat.

I am of course talking about Funktards.

And if you've seen some of the other things that have won from that site, you know that the winning entry is going to be weird, and this one lives up to that standard.

You see, someone got it into the mind to superimpose Hank Hill's head on a picture. A SFW picture mind you... and it became creepy. Creepy is underselling it really. Stuff of some wicked television inspired nightmare. Yeah, I think that conveys the horror that particular picture elicits.

I know that I'll never be able to watch King of the Hill the same way again.

And since this week's winning entry has to do with King of the Hill, well, it seemed fitting that I have an image with the Simpson and the Hill families hanging out. I wanted to get a shot of Hank Hill sitting in the stands of a football game in Springfield, but Homer wasn't in the shot for any of those frames, so this is the next best thing.



And here is your badge Dalton and Duke.



And since this is Funktards third Transmundanity Award in less than a year, they have also won the Transmundanity Triple Crown. Congrats.



The rules of this little contest: Every week I will be selecting one blog post that I have seen from the vast reaches of the blogosphere to bestow with the Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award for being one of the freakiest(in a funny way) things I've seen or read during a 7 day period. It doesn't necessarily have to have been written during the week, I just had to have encountered it. That means that if you find something interesting and repost it like a movie or whatever, if I saw it at your blog first, you get the prize. Of course, creating your own content is also a very good way to win.

Now, if you see a post that you think is worthy of this illustrious prize, just drop me a line at campybeaver@gmail.com and we'll see if we can't get your suggestion up and award-ready while giving you some credit and a link to your own blog.

Tags: homer simpson, pageant of the transmundane, martin luther king, funktards, ghandi, dalai lama, monopoly, king of the hill, hank hill, triple crown

NBC/House Creator Hellbent on Bringing Remake to TV

NBC and House creator David Shore want to redo the television classic The Rockford Files.

Now, if you've ever read my blog, you know how I feel about remakes, so you can probably guess what my reaction to this news is.

I mean, yes House is basically a police procedural with a medical setting featuring an eccentric genius lead detective and his subordinates (with a police captain that doesn't like how his team breaks the rules, despite the results), so in theory, redoing a show centered on a private detective ex-con often working at odds against the police might work. Again, in theory.

In practice, I don't think it will. James Garner made that role and he brought a lot of the same qualities to it that made Maverick such a success, and it is one of the centerpieces of 1970's television for me.

And you would have thought that NBC would have learned their lesson from the disastrous reboots of The Bionic Woman and Knight Rider, and ABC's failed attempt at bring back Dragnet.

Yes, Battlestar Galactica was a huge success. But that was like discovering gold on your property after all the oil has run dry... how often does the same property yield treasure twice.

I am not adverse to a new series being put on the air about a private investigator with a criminal past... I just don't like the idea of such a series trading on the cache of The Rockford Files. I guess I am weird like that.

Tags: house, nbc, david shore, dragnet, knight rider, bionic woman, james garner, private investigator, remake, gold, oil, ex-con, maverick

Midweek Video: I Kissed a Girl (weird cover)

I am not a fan of Katy Perry's I Kissed a Girl... but because I've had a pretty strong love affair with cover versions, I thought, there must be another perspective on the song... you know, like a guy playing the song and keeping it lyrically intact while bringing new meaning to it... like a gay man who is struggling with heterosexual feelings.

Well, Fran Healy from Travis got exactly what I was thinking. I was hoping for maybe Harvey Fierstein, but what are you going to do.

And I must say, without all those crappy touches from circa 1992, it actually sounds like a decent song. Not a great song, but a decent one now.

Tags: katy perry, cathy dennis, fran healy, harvey fierstein, i kissed a girl, cover, travis, scottish, reimagining, norway

A License to make me laugh

I've been meaning to write about this for a few days now, and I just couldn't figure out the best time to do it, and I just decided to hunker down and do it today.

I ran across a funny little ad at a site called fixR.com, which is in the business of getting people with home improvement needs together with people who do that kind of work. It is all very Web 2.0.

It is a rather unusual client looking for some Home Security renovations done.

A certain British secret agent with a not so secret name or number.

I am of course talking about James Bond, 007... (the man of 6 faces so far).

I love finding stuff like this! It feels almost like finding an easter egg.

Tags: james bond, 007, fixr, home security, majesty's secret service, home improvement, web 2.0, love nest, fake, funny, humor

My Enemies List: Addendum One

When I originally put together my enemies list, I also said that I would be adding entries to it as I went along and thought of new people and groups that have raised my ire. I will admit that when I do an addendum, the entries are going to be longer... so you have a heads up about that.

Collectors: Now, I am not talking about people who merely buy lots of related things because they enjoy having them. No, I am talking about the people who collect things as some warped form of investment. And because they consider their hobby one which has financial motivations, they set an artificially high price for whatever they own. I am sure a lot of you out there have been in a situation where you wanted to watch, read or play something and the only people who have that item want an unrealistic amount of money for it... a price that is so far out of whack from either its original value or the value such an item would dictate on the open market. Now there are some that would argue that the laws of supply and demand dictate those prices, but that is not true. What has happened is there are some people who have set a high price, and someone made a choice to buy it at that price, and others seeing that it can be sold for that get all nutty and set their prices that high too. And when you see prices that high, when you are trying to buy the item in auction, well, even if you pay more than it was worth otherwise, you still aren't paying that premium price that everyone seems to want. I'll give you an example from my own life. I bought a copy of Ico for the PS2 at a Blockbuster late last year for 10 dollars because I wanted to play it. But after I bought it, I tried and did not like Shadow of the Colossus, which was made by the same team, so I listed it at a game trading website. Someone offered me a sealed game and 50 dollars for said item (the sealed game, if you went by Amazon.com's marketplace was worth 77 dollars... but if you bought it at the manufacturer that same day, it was 30). I then decided to look up Ico (which sold 250K units in the United States/Canada, so it isn't even super rare) at the Amazon marketplace, and there are people who are trying to get over 100 dollars for it. And one person in particular wants 194 dollars for it. I will say that again. One hundred and ninety four dollars. It makes me question the sanity of the world really. Though I am guilty by association because someone offered me a deal which was insane, and I took it, so I am complicit with this, but honestly, I think someone would have to be pretty low to demand 194 dollars for something which at best should be 50... at best.

The Entertainment News Media: Yes I have problems with most of the news outlets, but there are things that I need to say another day about them. So, I thought it would be better to start with something which is near and dear to my heart. Do you remember when you would turn on Entertainment Tonight and they would be talking about an upcoming movie, television show or musician about to go on world tour? I do. Oh, the 1980's, how I hate your fashions and hairdos, but I did appreciate what you were bringing to the party in terms of coverage. And I realize that a lot of the things I want from the entertainment news media are now online, but there was something almost heartwarming about tuning into a show just to see some exclusive scenes from a hotly anticipated film. Now, what are we left with? A lot of celebrity gossip about breakups, drug abuse and weight gain and loss. Or we get TMZ which is basically a half-hour of people with a camera harassing celebrities on the street, at the airport and in front of clubs with various snide comments from the team in the office. These two versions of entertainment reporting almost work as a microcosm of the news media in general, but that would be letting the latter off the hook too easily. There used to be a time when there was an unwritten rule that the private lives of celebrities were pretty much off limits for the legitimate entertainment press. I sort of wish we would go back to that standard, because my needs as a pop culture junkie are really not being served by what passes as coverage these days.

There is more to come... there will always be more to come.

Tags: ico, collectors, tmz, entertainment tonight, entertainment media, celebrity, gossip, harassment, shadow of the colossus, blockbuster, first edition, rarity, free market, ebay, amazon, investment mentality, baseball cards, video games, sony, movies, books, enemies list

Sunday Video: Pass the Mic, Tom

I didn't set out to find another Beastie Boys mashup, but dammit, it seems like everything they get mashed up into is just sweet.

In this case, it is Tom Sawyer by Rush.

And while I am writing about the Beastie Boys, I hope Adam Yauch has successful treatment for and a speedy recovery from his recent diagnosis of cancer.

Tags: beastie boys, tom sawyer, pass the mic, rush, cancer, adam yauch, mashup

Week 11: Pageant of the Transmundane

This week in weird now, a guide dog who went blind received a new lease on life by getting its own seeing-eye dog. So wait, the owner now has to feed two dogs instead of one. And how to you get a guide dog to effectively use another guide dog. It is all so strange and oddly wonderful, like something out of a Disney cartoon.

Anyway, this week's winning entry comes to us from
Hey Okay and the entry in question displays an image of a rather strange set of diagrams on an Outback Steakhouse whiteboard. I didn't know that was on the menu, but I am sure Fat Bastard would be pleased and be a daily partaker in meals like that.

And because this week's winning entry has to do with a Steakhouse, well, an image of Homer looking down upon a huge steak was the order of the day. Unfortunately, the places where I find images like this were unable to provide me with a good quality shot of this activity (I knew the episode I wanted and everything... Maximum Homerdrive), I had to go with a much smaller substitute. My apologies to anyone who was expecting something grand.



Congrats Curtis. Here is your badge.



The rules of this little contest: Every week I will be selecting one blog post that I have seen from the vast reaches of the blogosphere to bestow with the Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award for being one of the freakiest(in a funny way) things I've seen or read during a 7 day period. It doesn't necessarily have to have been written during the week, I just had to have encountered it. That means that if you find something interesting and repost it like a movie or whatever, if I saw it at your blog first, you get the prize. Of course, creating your own content is also a very good way to win.

Now, if you see a post that you think is worthy of this illustrious prize, just drop me a line at campybeaver@gmail.com and we'll see if we can't get your suggestion up and award-ready while giving you some credit and a link to your own blog.

Tags: homer simpson, outback steakhouse, maximum homerdrive, fat bastard, pageant of the transmundane, hey okay, guide dog

Friday Favorite: Mouthwash for your musical soul

I wrote this back in July 2006, and for the most part the items contained within still work well for me as antidotes for earworms.

However last October, I would be tormented by an unrelenting earworm, and most of the stuff on this list didn't do the trick, so your mileage may vary with these suggestions.

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After my own post yesterday and the Fergie abomination that D. Prince posted last night, it made me remember advice that I've stated time and time again on blogs and chatrooms all over the internet.

When it comes to those awful songs that you can't get out of your head, you need to have a group of songs at your disposal that are a) catchy or really memorable and b) something you can live with. With me, I have a few songs that I can call upon to get rid of one of these nasty lingerers. In general, I employ a lot of TV theme songs because they are generally memorable, relatively short and after a few times around your head, they will eventually remind you of another tune and then they are cleansed from your mind too. You can get a lot of these songs online at places like The 80's TV Theme Supersite and TV Cream, so develop your own set of goto song erasers.

My set:

1) The Theme to the Wide World of Sports
2) The Oakland Raiders Theme(or anything else from the NFL Films collection). I suppose that the theme from Raiders of the Lost Ark would work similarly though.
3) The Equalizer/The Rockford Files/Sanford and Son/The Fall Guy/CHiPs

Though I've found these to work too:

4) Portland, Oregon by Loretta Lynn f/ Jack White
5) L'America by the Doors
6) Green Onions by Booker T and the MGs

Commercial jingles should not be used in these situations, as they were designed to stick in your mind, and you will be trading one problem for another.

In extreme cases, you can use one horrible song against another if it is slightly less likely to cause your brain to bleed. For example, after hearing Fergie's new single "London Bridge", I knew that my goto songs just couldn't defeat that beast. The theme songs are like Scope and Listerine, and I really needed something akin to kerosene or a flamethrower to burn that tune out of my head. So I had to turn to my old nemesis and one of the songs that made me develop my system in the first place, Gwen Stefani's "Hollaback Girl", and I can honestly say that I cannot remember "London Bridge" at all today.

However, Banana Phone or Badger Badger Badger is never the answer and should never be applied to your mind at anytime. That is why I haven't linked to them here either, because those are the equivalent of whipping out the nuclear weapons. Yes, whatever was floating around in your mind will be gone, but so will everything else, and that isn't the best of outcomes.

So hopefully, I have not only undone the damage that I did yesterday, but given you all the techniques to survive this age of appallingly catchy music.

Tags: london bridge, fergie, safety dance, hollaback girl, gwen stefani, banana phone, badger, rockford files, chips, NFL Films, wide world of sports, portland, oregon, green onions, scope, l'america, fall guy, tv themes

My Top 10 Movie Characters

Lee did this meme a few days ago, and while he didn't do any tagging, I thought it was an interesting exercise and I thought it was worth doing myself. The only problem with me doing stuff like this is it is supposed to be some quick thing, and what ends up happening is I end up thinking about my choices like they are chess moves. Case in point, I started doing this thing on Tuesday, and I just couldn't narrow down my choices until I had given it some thought.

The basic premise as you've likely gathered from the title, is that I am supposed to choose 10 characters from movies which really resonated with me. If it was just a matter of picking one, well, this would have been up on Tuesday, but making me choose more than that leads to problems.

But enough yakking about me and my meme neuroses... it is time to look at the list.

1. The Man with No Name (Clint Eastwood) from Leone's Dollars Trilogy. A man of few words, but huge actions. Very grey in terms of morality, but generally his actions end up having a positive outcome... a great anti-hero all around. I almost went with Tuco, but well, with The Man with No Name, you have the cinematic predecessors of a lot of action stars in the 1980's and 90's.

2. The Dude from The Big Lebowski. As a practicing Dudeist, this one is a given really.

3. James Bond. Do I need to explain this one?

4. Henry Hackett from The Paper. Now, this is an unusual choice I admit it. But the first time I saw The Paper, the character of Henry Hackett, played by Michael Keaton, really appealed to me. He is a man who was so anxious to break a story that during the middle of a job interview for a higher-prestige paper, he stole leads from the editor-in-chief's desk and had various other adventures while trying to do the right thing as a journalist. If there was a movie that I would have loved to have seen a sequel for, this was it.

5. Pai Mei from not only Kill Bill, but from a myriad of kung fu movies. I mean, the guy is bad ass, and as villains go, well, he is one of those figures that just transcends the genre, much like Dracula and Frankenstein have done in horror.

6. Snake Plissken from Escape from New York and unfortunately Escape from L.A.. Kurt Russell with an eye patch, kicking ass and taking names without saying a lot... what more do you need?

7. Grimm in Quick Change. There were a lot of Bill Murray characters I could have gone with, but somehow his turn as a first time bank robber who is stymied in his attempts to escape from New York, a problem which of course was a major stumbling block for another selection.

8. Danny Ocean from the Ocean's Eleven movies. George Clooney usually has that suave thing going, and given my penchant for scams, cons and frauds, especially perpetrated against bad people, well, I had to go with this choice.

9. Mitch Henessey from The Long Kiss Goodnight. Now, there were a lot of Samuel L. Jackson characters I could have gone with, but somehow, his turn as a low rent private detective who takes a job that has some really unexpected perils and some nice opportunities for some solid quips. He is a relatively unimportant man thrust into a situation which is really beyond his talents or experiences, and that's what makes it so great.

10. Robocop. Hmmm... Peter Weller playing a mechanized bad ass with a mind and soul. Yes, that is some compelling work, and given his experience with somewhat strange fantastical and science fiction movies, well, he really makes the character work.

Well, that's all from me on this topic. If you want to give it a whack, go for it... no pressure from me to do so.

Tags: long kiss goodnight, samuel l. jackson, robocop, man with no name, sergio leone, clint eastwood, peter weller, michael keaton, the paper, henry hackett, the dude, jeff bridges, james bond, pai mei, kill bill, kung fu, snake plissken, kurt russell, grimm, quick change, bill murray, danny ocean, george clooney, ocean's eleven, mitch henessey

Midweek Video: Matrix Club

Some enterprising individual came up with the wondrous idea of combining two of the mind-bending movies of 1999, The Matrix and Fight Club. It comes together remarkably well.

And it also follows the rule that I always appreciate in this sort of thing... having one actor playing one role in the revised trailer.

Tags: fight club, the matrix, mashup, 1999, trailer, films

A Little Luck based word problem

I've always wondered who gets the bad luck in situations where two people are fighting and one combatant throws or pushes his/her opponent into or even through a mirror.

I mean, I know the person who went into the mirror has the bad luck in the short term, and the person who put them through it eventually gets some form of comeuppance, but is there some book of superstition rules that one who believed in such things should consult.

You know, something akin to the work Emily Post did for etiquette. There has to be some giant book of canon on this sort of thing to help people watching movies and reading books and the like keep up with who has given themselves or their foe some bad luck (like what if you ran under a ladder to push someone you were fighting against into the path of a black cat and through a mirror, but they managed to pick up a four leaf clover and clobber you with a lucky horseshoe... whose luck would be worse)? Sort of like a form of luck algebra or something like that.

Not that I am superstitious mind you... but I still think that would be an interesting book nonetheless...

Sometimes I have too much time on my hands.

Tags: luck, horseshoe, mirror, four leaf clover, black cat, goocher, luck algebra, rabbits foot

One of the Greatest Video Game Titles Ever

You know when you see the title of something, and it makes you intensely interested in whatever it is.

I had that experience late last week.

I was doing some research on some Tactical/Strategic Role Playing Games, and I happened to be at the NIS America site (a company that has made most of the games of that type on the PS2) when a particular just released PSP title grabbed my attention.

Holy Invasion of Privacy, Badman! What Did I Do to Deserve This?

The title sort of reminds me of a movie/documentary starring Marlee Matlin called What the #$*! Do We Know!? , which from what I understand is also one of those strange conceptual pictures that is a documentary wrapped into a narrative film like beaten egg whites into a chiffon (ok, I admit I've been watching too many cooking shows as of late). And it also makes me think back to my third podcast when I played a song called "This Is Where the Robot Escapes His Evil Captor, Finds Raygun, Plots Revenge"

Basically, the goal of this game is you play the villain in a Role Playing-type game, and you must prevent heroes (you know, the lads and lasses you play as in most RPGs) from coming into your lair and taking you to justice. So you have to set up an ecosystem in your dungeon so that your various creatures of evil will survive and get stronger so they can take whatever the heroes who have come to stop your ultimate reign of evil can dish out and finish them off once and for all. And from what I've read, it is supposedly jam packed full of pop culture references and a wicked sense of humor (the latter I've just discovered playing Disgaea over the weekend).



I don't have a PSP, but I think the idea is certainly a winner. It may not be the prettiest game out there, but I can certainly forgive a great game for not being a looker. I did it for Fire Pro Wrestling Returns after all. If it ever gets ported to the Playstation 2, I'll be sure to pick it up.

Tags: what the bleep do we know, holy invasion of privacy, badman, what did i do to deserve this, rpg, role playing game, nis america, disgaea, nippon ichi, pop culture references

Sunday Night Video: Yesterday

The original Beatles song is almost completely mournful, and as one of the most covered songs ever, well, it is hard to find someone who brings something completely new to the material. Ray Charles was an artist who could do that.

To me, I notice as it gets bigger, it is almost as if Charles has gained strength after the relationship ended... like after some time, he still has some regrets, but he has learned to live with them, come to some understanding of what has happened, even if it isn't explicitly spelled out and come away from the experience a survivor.

OK, maybe that's just me.

Also, Ray Charles covered Eleanor Rigby, which made it more depressing somehow.

Tags: the beatles, paul mccartney, ray charles, yesterday, eleanor rigby

Week 10: Pageant of the Transmundane

A woman in New York has apparently taught her dog to respond to written commands. You know, like flash cards. So that little pooch may in fact be smarter than a generation of kindergarten students. I had considered using a tale of a man who fought off an attacking mountain lion with a chainsaw, but I heard Bruce Campbell has already bought the rights to that to make into the most awesome movie ever.

This week's winning entry comes from Peter Griffin's Blog, which is part of the SodaHead collective.

The entry in question reveals a rather startling discovery about a beloved video game from a lot of our misspent youths. I am of course talking about Super Mario Brothers.

Turns out that when Toad was telling us all that the princess was in another castle, well, he was also telling us to do something else.

And since this week's winning entry is Super Mario Brothers related, well, having Mario and Homer interacting seemed like the best image I could provide. The scene that followed was more related to Donkey Kong than his later incarnations, but the thought is the same.



Congratulations to Peter Griffin. I don't know why that seems so strange to say, but it does.



The rules of this little contest: Every week I will be selecting one blog post that I have seen from the vast reaches of the blogosphere to bestow with the Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award for being one of the freakiest(in a funny way) things I've seen or read during a 7 day period. It doesn't necessarily have to have been written during the week, I just had to have encountered it. That means that if you find something interesting and repost it like a movie or whatever, if I saw it at your blog first, you get the prize. Of course, creating your own content is also a very good way to win.

Now, if you see a post that you think is worthy of this illustrious prize, just drop me a line at campybeaver@gmail.com and we'll see if we can't get your suggestion up and award-ready while giving you some credit and a link to your own blog.

Tags: homer simpson, peter griffin, pageant of the transmundane, sodahead, chainsaw, mountain lion, dog that can read, toad, super mario brothers, the finger, flipping the bird, kindergarten, bruce campbell

Friday Favorite: Lessons I've Learned from the Movies

I just keep finding entries that I had forgotten about, and without tooting my own horn, I have enjoyed rereading.

This one was a little strange, but really was in keeping with the vibe I was putting out in mid-2006. And it still works even today. I hope you enjoy it as well.

--

This is not one of those Movie Physics kind of things, or something that is questioning the logic of actions within the narratives of certain movies, but rather a more generalized list of just stuff that makes sense in real life as presented in the movies(though of course, to a much more pronounced sense in the movies).

In life, someone will betray you and you will not discover this until it is almost too late. In most cases this will not involve someone trying to kill you or destroy the world with a giant space laser, though it may involve your wife or husband and a best friend or boss.

When you are trying to change your life, someone may get you to commit to one last job... though it is probably just settling an account or doing a little design on the side rather than going deep undercover on a Russian nuclear submarine, stealing the world most cursed diamond or taking out the 5 men that will destroy your family if they are not stopped.

Someone will con you, though it will probably be out of a week's salary or a few bucks, and most likely won't be for a keycard that will get someone into the backroom of a casino or the nuclear football.

If you are the underdog, or your team is, they may win.... they probably won't, but it could happen... I mean, it isn't like they win at the end of everything, is it?

You will meet a person of the opposite sex in a amusing or provocative way... but this will usually not result in a long-term relationship or your involvement in an international drug deal in the next 3 hours.

Your plane may become involved in an incident where the pilot and/or copilots are all taken out for some strange reason... but you will likely not be asked to take the controls unless you've had some flight training.

You will get sick... though in all likelihood vomit will not spray out of your mouth like a garden hose full of creamed corn. Unless you mixed drinks and ate some raw meat... because then anything can happen.

You will get into a fight... but it probably won't be a total bar meltdown with people flying everywhere and pool cues getting broken over someone's head.

Most people know more about computers and how to circumnavigate problems than they let on... though most people couldn't hack into a nuclear war simulation or the NSA.

It is easy to fake insanity... or to hide it. It all depends on the circumstances really.

And in life, you too can have theme music... but you have to have a CD player, car stereo or Ipod.

Tags: movies, betrayal, con, fight, ipod, cd, music, pilot, nuclear war, nsa, fbi, vomit, exorcist

Happy 3rd Birthday Goozex!

I've written about Goozex in the past, and I've been a proud member of this game trading service for about a year now, and I have nothing but good things to say about it.

Sure there have been a few little tweaks to things since I started there, but the core experience has remained the same... people trading games with a good deal of assurance that if something goes wrong, there is a system in place to protect you. And it is comforting to know

But I have loved my time at Goozex. I've ended up getting so much good stuff there that I otherwise would have been denied or had to pay a much higher price for if I had tried to find them Ebay or other services. I mean, over the past year, I've gotten 50 games from other gamers through Goozex over the past 15 months from the proceeds of about 15 games I wasn't playing and/or finished. To me, that is a good payoff for my investment. I think there are very few places in the world, especially in game sales, that you could make a deal like that.

And the somewhat egalitarian nature of the matching system (which is first come, first served), means that if you are patient, you will eventually get what you want. And because the site acts sort of like a central bank between members, you don't have to find someone who has what you want and wants something you have, you simply trade your items for points which you use to pay for the stuff you want. It is very simple and elegant and standardized... and I think that is what I like most about it.

So happy birthday Goozex. It has been a heck of run so far and I am really looking forward to what is to come (and what I might get off of there next ;)

I admit that while my love of the service knows few bounds, I am getting a little something extra for writing about it again (namely a trade credit, allowing me to get one more game, so I am getting a present for celebrating it). You know I am about the full disclosure after all.

Tags: goozex, birthday, game trading, disclosure, central bank, great service, buyer protection, point system, well-run, maryland, video games, anti-gamestop

Midweek Video: Ramasutra's Marder

I remember seeing this music video after I had first watched The Blair Witch Project on video. I thought they sort of went together at the time.

I have a copy of this video on a tape somewhere, and I can't find it, so when it was recently reposted, well, I just had to share it with you all. Though I have to admit the music may not have aged well, though if I ran into a copy of The East Infection, I would still probably buy it.

Tags: ramasutra, marder, east infection, blair witch project, india, montreal, creepy, surreal

Harry Potter on the Verge of Setting Another Record

I was surprised to learn that the Harry Potter film franchise is about to overtake the venerable James Bond films as the highest grossing film series of all time (not adjusted for inflation).

I know the films are a phenomenon, but I am sort of shocked that James Bond, a series which has been going strong for almost 40 years and over 20 movies, is about to be supplanted by a group of films which have been developed and created within the last decade (and truth be told, aside from the first Potter movie, I haven't seen much of the series).

Now I personally don't have a problem with the producers taking and running with this claim. I mean, there is something to be said for being at least in part responsible for bringing the highest grossing set of properties to the screen after all. I just feel it is in part a false claim at this point. Now when the series is complete, then I would feel entirely comfortable with the claim.

But I am forced to admit that most of the Bond movies were released before the days of the blockbuster so they weren't the cash cows they were to become as of late, so even adjusting for inflation, I don't think 7-8 of their highest grossing films together would do 5 billion or more, which is an impressive figure no matter how you slice it.

Tags: harry potter, james bond, blockbuster, roger moore, daniel radcliffe, daniel craig, villains, properties, 5 billion, emma watson, chris columbus, rupert grint, pierce brosnan, sean connery, film series, profitable

Trailers from Hell!

At the end of last week, I just happened to find a site by happenstance

As you've likely gathered from the title of this post, that site is called Trailers From Hell.

The basic idea of the site is that iconic film professionals like Joe Dante, Edgar Wright, Rick Baker and John Landis amongst others present movie trailers for cult, grindhouse and classic films with a commentary track about the film. It is at first a strange idea, but it works out quite well, especially given the lengths of some of those trailers, which clock in at over 2 minutes, giving the person doing the commentary ample time to sum things up.

The work Joe Dante and Alan Arkush do on the site is especially insightful, and not just because Dante is the man. It also stems from the fact that both these men worked with Roger Corman, including shaping the trailers, so they have actual inside information about the movies in question and how the trailers/slogans came together on some of the trailers they are critiquing, which is a nice touch.

And seeing the list of movie trailers they've done this for really takes me back to movies I saw a long time ago... like I always forget about The Kentucky Fried Movie for instance.

From both a historical and fun perspective, the site is just awesome, but I guess you all knew I was going to say something like that, and I can't recommend it enough.

Tags: trailers from hell, joe dante, edgar wright, alan arkush, kentucky fried movies, roger corman, movies trailer

Sunday Video: Barracuda

No, not that iconic 1970's power rock classic by the Heart, but rather an animated video to a song written and performed by Miho Hatori of Cibo Matto and Gorillaz fame.

There are segments where any frame/cel taken from them would make an awesome poster. The art style reminds of the work of particular comic/commercial artist, but I can't put my finger on it, and it is sort of bugging me.

Tags: miho hatori, cibo matto, gorillaz, barracuda, heart, animation, lush colors

The Pickup Line: A Culture Kills Comic

As usual, this comic developed randomly based on the two characters I chose. I don't sit down with a theme or a joke in mind. I just sort of wing it really.

And no, before anyone asks, I have never used either of the above pickup lines. If I go for a pickup, I have to be a little more clever than the first part and on some level, the second just doesn't seem to be my style. Granted, I am not a pickup artist to begin with, but I do recognize bad pickup lines when I read/hear them.

Tags: culture kills comic, pickup line, rejection, dinner, dating, bar, alcohol, strip generator

Week 9: Pageant of the Transmundane

Huzzah! Clippy is no more. That's right, Microsoft has literally buried the annoying little Office assistant who cheerfully tormented us all with his attempts to help us spell and format letters. Ding Dong that little SOB who fed on our annoyance and frustration is dead.

Anyway, this week's winning entry comes to us from Cracked Ice and Chrome, a hep little repository of all things 1950's related.

Jen, the proprietor of the site discovered a group of weird soup recipes from Campbell's which truly defy logic. They must have been really desperate to sell soup, a product which practically sells itself with some of those abominations against good taste. I think there is one in particular which looks particularly retch-inducing.

And since this week's winning entry has to do with Campbell's soup, well, it seemed rather fitting to hearken back to the time that Homer became an outsider artist and he visited a museum to check out some art, including the work of Andy Warhol. Yes, The Simpsons have done everything now.



Congrats Jen for finding something that was freaky, funny and plain gross and presenting it to the world. In recognition of your efforts, here is your badge for this achievement.



The rules of this little contest: Every week I will be selecting one blog post that I have seen from the vast reaches of the blogosphere to bestow with the Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award for being one of the freakiest(in a funny way) things I've seen or read during a 7 day period. It doesn't necessarily have to have been written during the week, I just had to have encountered it. That means that if you find something interesting and repost it like a movie or whatever, if I saw it at your blog first, you get the prize. Of course, creating your own content is also a very good way to win.

Now, if you see a post that you think is worthy of this illustrious prize, just drop me a line at campybeaver@gmail.com and we'll see if we can't get your suggestion up and award-ready while giving you some credit and a link to your own blog.

Tags: homer simpson, campbell's soup, pageant of the transmundane, cracked ice and chrome, jen, pop art, andy warhol, clippy, microsoft, office 2010

Weird Movie Combination

I was at the supermarket yesterday, and as this particular chain is apt to do, they have a huge bin of DVDs that you can pick over at bargain prices.

One of their suppliers puts together packages featuring a couple of movies which, for the most part, seem to fit (like putting Superman Returns and Star Trek Nemesis together or Dirty Harry and Red Heat)

I thought they made sense for the most part, and then I ran into this pairing:



I mean, who is the demographic this is targeted at really. A dark Stanley Kubrick movie about a mutiny in the French Army during the First World War and the consequences of that decision and a couple of children's cartoons about the children's book character Madeline. Hmmm... that is quite a double bill.

The only connection I can think of between those two things is basically that they both take place in France and the casts are North American. That's it.

And I don't really see a person sitting down and watching Paths of Glory and then making the conscious decision to throw in Madeline, even if it is just to take the edge off.

I would just love to find out how the decision to put those two things together was made, because there were more than a few of these particular 2-for-1 packages in the open display box. Part of me wonders if they literally drew movie titles from their library out of a hat.

Tags: madeline, paths of glory, stanley kubrick, french, discount dvds, library, supermarket, cartoon, dic, kirk douglas

Enduring the Irritating Just to Spite Someone Else

There is a little scene from the television show Becker which I always keep in mind for situations like this.

There was a flickering street light outside of curmudgeonly Dr. Becker's apartment window, and in a bid to get it fixed, he stands in the lobby of his building trying to get his neighbors, all of whom he has done something to anger in the past, to sign a petition so it will get fixed.

He finally finds another person in the building who is also really being irritated by the street light and would desperately like it fixed. However, knowing that it was also driving Becker crazy gave that guy the strength to endure the misery according to his own words.

In my case, the source of misery is the never ending coverage of Michael Jackson's death and memorial.

When it first happened, I could see why there was such a fuss, but by now, I think most of the stories about it would be exhausted. On some level, I think the coverage has been more pervasive than even the first two weeks of coverage of the Hurricane Katrina disaster. I mean, really, by now every narrative surrounding this has likely been explored by someone in the media.

In short, I desperately wanted it to end.

And then I read a story that all this coverage about Michael Jackson was getting under Bill O'Reilly's skin and he was getting really cranky about it. As you may remember, he is someone who is on my enemies list. Of course, as you can imagine, he wasn't the most tactful guy when discussing the matter, calling the fans who were lionizing Jackson pathetic and attacking Jackson for his extravagant lifestyle while not really contributing to worthy causes. From what I've read, he devoted a lot of time on Tuesday's show to this whole issue, so he either felt it was worth exploring or he knew it was ratings and publicity gold.

So the fact that Bill O'Reilly is getting so bent out of shape about this gives me the strength to carry on and endure this coverage. I can survive. I can persevere. I have the will to take it for the rest of my life if it makes O'Reilly so mad and uncomfortable.

Tags: bill o'reilly, michael jackson, ted danson, john becker, becker, memorial, doctor, enemies list, memorial, media coverage, streetlight, hell itself, hurricane katrina, my own worst enemy

Midweek Video: Post-It Love

Sorry I didn't have a new post this afternoon, but life got in the way so to speak.

Anyway, I saw this video earlier this week and I thought it was so sweet and touching (though the word creepy may also be an appropriate adjective), that I thought it was worth featuring.

I sort of wish that the resolution of the original video lent itself to reading the credits, as I would be interested to know if this crew made any other short films.

Tags: post it love, short film, midweek video, office, romance, sweet, creepy, 3m

The Last Man

I was recently tagged by Samuraifrog to do this particular meme, and as you well know, I am not huge on these, but the premise of this is so interesting, I had to pursue it. And that being said, this whole thing was started by someone named JDC.

The question at hand is:
"You wake up tomorrow and every person on the planet has vanished. What do you do?"

Day One: I think it would take me a while to realize that I was perhaps the last person left on Earth. Upon that realization (which the television universe wouldn't entirely acknowledge the cataclysm because there would still be stations that run programming by robot. I would likely be in a state of denial about the situation at hand, but being a pragmatist, I would look up some of the little tricks I would need to know online before both the internet and power grid became non-functional, information which would not be widely available from any books I could readily find (like hotwiring a car and other activities which civil society frowns upon). While the amenities lasted, I would take advantage of the perishables, as I know they will be fleeting. I lack most of the basic skills to survive outside of the confines of civilization, so there are going to be some harsh lessons to be learned if I am going to survive.

Week One: I have discovered the fun of living in a world without consequences. I could see myself engaging in destructive behavior just because I could get away with it and engaging in other behavior that would lead to my former incarceration... like shooting at parked cars and breaking and entering. Then again, who am I really hurting at this point. At the same time, I would to contemplate the fact that without other human beings and their skills, I am going to be in trouble if I was to break my glasses (a situation like the one lamentably faced by Burgess Meredith in the Twilight Zone episode Time Enough at Last), need medical help or require something else that requires specialization and timely maintenance. By now, I expect that the power system would have largely broken down, so any food which was perishable would have likely started going south. I have likely eaten the last fresh meat and frozen food I am going to have for a while. I stock up on a variety of medical supplies... just in case I get in a situation which makes it difficult to acquire them when needed. The water system is also likely compromised, so I would likely be living on bottled water.

Month One: I come to realize why in a post-apocalyptic society gasoline is so prized... and how important electricity is in delivering it. While I may have gotten used to elements of this new lifestyle, depression over the things I've lost will consume me. With a stash of prescription medications, including a wide variety of painkillers, anti-depressants and sleeping pills, along with unfettered access to booze from both bars and liquor stores, I would descend into a cycle of substance abuse, which while killing me, also keeps me somewhat sane. I will likely be cooking with propane, as it would still likely be available in a form that I could transport depending on the season. While I might have felt more comfortable in this survival mode, there are still many things to learn if I hope to survive. And part of me doesn't want to do so. I am soft, weak, and while I may fantasize about such scenarios, like the zombie apocalypse, I know that I am not a survivor. Every day will be a struggle, shortened by substance abuse of course.

Year One: If I make it to this point without killing myself on purpose, by an accidental drug or alcohol overdose or by act of nature, I will likely be almost ready to take dominion over the world. At some point nature will get the better of me, and my demons should be under control. Hopefully. Perhaps by this point I have a truck full of loot and am slowly making my way across down the highways and byways of the North American continent, looking for fellow survivors, those rare needles in a haystack who would have likely been as isolated as myself. It is a futile search, but it would give my life some meaning, some boundaries which were so painfully lacking in the months previous. I don't know how long I will struggle for, but I am not going to quit. Not yet.

Now I am supposed to pick someone else to do this as well.



I Choose You, Megan!

Tags: last man, cataclysm, zombie, end of the world, survivor, alone, samuraifrog, jdc

Little People Lobby FCC

An advocacy group for Little People are trying to get the word "midget" off the public airwaves. But unlike a lot of advocacy groups, they are going beyond what is normally associated with this kind of thing.

Usually in these cases, they protest and boycott and generally exercise their power as consumers and rabblerousers to get some attention for the issue they want looked at.

That's not the tack that is being used. Instead of trying to discourage people from using the word "midget" through those means, they are instead lobbying to get it onto a list of words that are deemed unfit for the public airwaves by FCC standards.

They are also equating the term "midget" with racial slurs. I am sure generations of African-Americans would rankle at that comparison, people who are more than familiar with the treatment that surrounds such terms.

I am not a little person, so perhaps I don't understand how hurtful being called a midget is. From my perspective, it seems that being called a little person would be worse. Just the use of the words "little person" seems insulting to me. Put it this way, is it worse to call someone a midget or to tell them that they are a small person, meaning they are petty and all those other negative connotations.

I mean, Hervé Villechaize insisted on being called a midget and not a little person.

So once again, I say no to unnecessary censorship and to a more pervasive FCC presence in the American media.

*your host starts chanting a line from PCU* We're not gonna protest... we're not gonna protest...

Tags: little people, herve villechaize, midget, fcc, censorship, advocacy group

Sunday Video: Spill the Wine

You know there are songs which make you think of the totality of an entire decade when you hear them? Well, for me, this song encompasses the entire decade of the 1970's for me. Maybe because it is in so many movies that take place during that decade, but somehow it just became one of those anthems in my mind.

Of course, it wasn't until I watched the video that I actually knew what Eric Burdon looked like. Whenever I heard it on the radio, I always assumed the singer was some Jim Croce/Frank Zappa lookalike for some reason. I fully expected War to look like that however. Strange how the mind work huh.

Tags: eric burdon, spill the wine, the 1970s, psychedelic music, war, frank zappa, jim croce, mustache, hall of the mountain king, leaping gnome

Week 8: Pageant of the Transmundane

DOH! I thought I posted on Friday Night, but apparently I messed up and it ended up in the draft file.

This week, a man in rural New Jersey was mugged by a black bear for an Italian sandwich. Just when you thought you only had to worry about getting mugged by human beings in New Jersey, some resourceful bear decided to up the ante. Officials at Jellystone National Park could not be reached for commment. Perhaps Stephen Colbert has been right about bears all along.

Anyway, this week's winning entry comes to us from the blog Lying Bastard, which features a lot of things which are truly worthy of the Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award. However, there was one particular thing which really caught my attention (and perhaps give me nightmares).

Something that gets creepier and creepier the more I watch it. It is like the energizer bunny of bizarre and unsettling.

View it and have your skin crawl a little bit.

Now, if I explain this Homer Simpson related image, well, I may be giving away the horror that lay within the link.



Congrats Cooper Green on creeping my out this week. Here is your badge.



The rules of this little contest: Every week I will be selecting one blog post that I have seen from the vast reaches of the blogosphere to bestow with the Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award for being one of the freakiest(in a funny way) things I've seen or read during a 7 day period. It doesn't necessarily have to have been written during the week, I just had to have encountered it. That means that if you find something interesting and repost it like a movie or whatever, if I saw it at your blog first, you get the prize. Of course, creating your own content is also a very good way to win.

Now, if you see a post that you think is worthy of this illustrious prize, just drop me a line at campybeaver@gmail.com and we'll see if we can't get your suggestion up and award-ready while giving you some credit and a link to your own blog.

Tags: cooper green, homer simpson, pageant of the transmundane, julia roberts, clones, creepy

Back in Plaid!

After a lot of soul-searching, I began to feel nostalgic for the horse that brought me here so to speak, so I thought what best exemplified what this blog was about in its early days?

Was it my incisive writing? My wicked awesome sense of humor? Or was it my winning personality?

Nah... it was the fact that I draped my entire blog in green tartan. Yeah, I think that was this blog's real strength because it is both warm and a little whimsical.

And somehow I was reminded of this... I don't know why... it just felt appropriate.

Tags: plaid, background, redesign, back in black, ac/dc, tartan

Burning Question: Homage or rip off?

I haven't done one of these in a while, so there may be a little bit of rust.

As I've said numerous times this year, I have been working on developing a television pilot. At this point, I am just about to take a lot of my copious notes and start putting pen to paper, but I was confronted the horrible thought that my clever references and such could be considered theft.

I am trying to figure out where the line is between paying homage to something and ripping that source material off, and I am all about the former and really wary about the latter.

So my question is: Where do you consider the line between paying homage and ripping something off?

Tags: homage, pilot, television, ripoff, plagiarism

Midweek Video: Into Dust

I have the album which this Mazzy Star song appears (So Tonight That I Might See), and it wasn't until I recently saw a rerun of House that is popped back into my mind.

It may not have received the airplay that Fade Into You had, but it is still a pretty, sweet mournful song.

Tags: mazzy star, house, into dust, so tonight i might see

The Reborn Wrestling Fan: Those Weren't The Good Old Days

Back when I wrote my first post on wrestling here, where I decried modern wrestling for not having the fun that wrestling from the Rock N Wrestling era had... the era of wrestling I grew up on, and the one which informed my entire perception of that form of entertainment for decades. I looked upon it fondly, and believed it to be of a superior to what followed it.

But in retrospect, I can now admit that I was wrong. Dead wrong.

I recently found some WWE collections at a discount store in my neighborhood, and I watched some of the pay-per-view and Saturday Night Main Event matches they contained from that era and earlier, and I was astonished at a) how short the matches were and b) how seemingly amateurish they seem now (not all of them mind you because there are indeed some great matches from later in that era... Savage/Steamboat at WM 3 comes to mind). Maybe it was because at time, the company hadn't fully embraced the entertainment aspect of the experience and was trying to maintain the veneer that it was a sporting event rather than a scripted collaborative work, or maybe the formula they were using at the time was not as sophisticated as it is today, but in watching those matches, it just felt so lightweight and insubstantial. I was especially disappointed by the Hulk Hogan-Iron Sheik title match I saw because I recently read about the build up to that match, and the in-ring payoff was almost non-existent based on the build up. It should have been epic, and instead it was just sort of boring with some definite pacing problems.

Put it this way, in any given week, the 5 major televised wrestling programs (the WWE's Raw, Smackdown, Superstars and ECW along with TNA Impact) put on better and more satisfying matches than what was generally available from the WWF in the mid-1980's, even on some of their pay-per-views. At times, the worst match on the above five shows is still of a higher quality than the better matches people were paying good money to see on closed circuit television, video tape and pay-per-view. And back in the 1980's the weekly shows were filled with a lot of squash matches, something which I didn't really appreciate at the time, but in retrospect, I can see them for what they were.

I know that Raw and TNA Impact both have their problems at the moment (especially with a Monday Night Raw feud that just will not end), but for the most part, the matches and story lines they present are light years ahead of the average match you'd get as main events back in the mid-1980's in the WWF. I think having to generate heat for so many Pay-per-view events along with some of the lessons learned during the Monday Night Wars and the Attitude Era likely led to the move away from those cavalcades of squash matches and less than stellar wrestling towards a lot more matches that mean something and more performers showcasing a greater variety of styles and move sets. Today's wrestling isn't perfect, but when held up in comparison to the era which spawned it as a national phenomenon, well, it is pretty good stuff indeed.

And again, don't get me wrong, there were still some great matches and feuds from that era, but in seeing some of the work I had previously praised and held as the gold standard for entertaining wrestling, I realized that I was looking back with rose-colored glasses. It was never a completely exemplary product and now I can finally admit it and get on with my life as a wrestling fan.

Tags: randy savage, ricky steamboat, hulk hogan, attitude era, monday night wars, iron sheik, rock n wrestling, saturday night main event, wrestlemania 3, pacing